Archive for the Obama Category

Sunday Jokes

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, Obama, Politics, UK with tags , , , , on 23/10/2016 by floroy1942

 1

A young Arkansan boy goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!”  “That’s amazing,” his dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?” “Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says “and I’ll get him in the course.”  So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. “So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his father asks.  “Awesome, dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!” “Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”  “Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him. So she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.  “Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!” “Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”. “Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?” The father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your mother!”  “I sure did, Dad!” “That’s my boy!”

 The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville, he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and you already know what a lying bitch his girlfriend turned out to be!

2

So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St. Peter. There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, “What are these clocks for?” St. Peter replies, “These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa’s clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved. Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice.” The man then asks, “So where is George Bush’s clock?” St. Peter replies, “Oh, that is in Jesus’ office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!”

3

How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.

So I asked a blonde, “Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?” She said, “The Sun, because I can look up and see it.

4

It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!”

5

Travelling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, “Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town.” The old man says, “We’re from Nebraska.” Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, “What did he say, papa?” The old man answers her, “He asked us where we are from.” “Oh,” replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that’s all done, the attendant tells the old man, “You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska.” The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, “What did he say, papa?” The husband replies, “He thinks he knows you, mama.”

6

Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they’re walking around New York, they hear, “Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!” They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, “What part did you get?!”

 7

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”

8

‘Til next time.

Roy.

Who To Choose – Trump Or Clinton?

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, Elections, Environment, European Union, News, Nuclear Weapons, Obama, President with tags , , , , on 18/10/2016 by floroy1942

Clinton Versus TrumpThis article may ruffle a few feathers among Americans, especially as I do not live in the USA, but the question is a valid one. Which candidate would you choose as President of the United States of America? On the one hand we have Hilary Clinton, and on the other business man Donald Trump. To be perfectly honest I would not choose either of them, for neither one is honest enough to hold the post.

So far as Hilary is concerned there is the scandal of her e-mails while she was Secretary of State, plus the scandals surrounding her and her husband while he was President. Plus their Clinton Foundation shenanigans. There is of course much more hiding under the table.

So far as Trump is concerned he has made himself unpopular with women because of secret recordings made while he made jokes about women and the many allegations of rape made against him from women who have suddenly come forward after staying silent for many years. On top of this there are his many failures in business which are steadily becoming public knowledge.

To be completely honest, I think that neither of them are fit for the most powerful post in the world, i.e. President of the United States.

In the last few elections for this post there has been mudslinging one against the other, but neither candidate has laid out how they would run the country. This was always the main focus of attention by prospective nominees in the distant past, but that has disappeared in the more recent elections.

Obama and Mitt Romney fought like cats and dogs, slandering each other and not concentrating on how they would run the country, and the same is true now. The Presidential Election has become a ‘no holds barred’ fight between the two candidates and whoever manages to drag up the most dirt about their opponent wins. This is not the way to run an election for the Presidency.

It would be nice if each candidate laid out the plans they have for running the country, and how they would coöperate with foreign powers. The people should be more interested in how they would serve the public and make their lives better. But it seems that this approach is history as we delve more and more into ‘in-fighting’ between the candidates.

The position of President of the United States is the most powerful in the world, and those who hold it should be concentrating on making lives better and paving the way for true peace in the world, but with these two candidates that will never happen. Clinton is only interested in making herself and her husband richer at the expense of the people, while Trump is only out for fame and fortune.

How will they treat Russia? Will they enter into negotiations to lift the threat of war that is currently hovering over the world? How will they treat the catastrophe that has overtaken the Middle East? What will they do in America to battle the increasing contamination of our atmosphere. How will they improve the living standards of the American people? All of these subjects have not even entered their heads for they say nothing about how they would act as President. All they do is concentrate on mudslinging.

All I can say is, God help us all if either of these two get into power.

Roy.

Hilary Caught Out In Lies – Again.

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, Elections, England, News, Obama, Politics, USA with tags , , , , on 30/09/2016 by floroy1942

A friend sent me this and it set me to wondering what the American people would think of it. Read this and see what you think:

Moderator: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Let’s start the first questions with you Mrs. Clinton.

When you were Secretary of State why did you let a Russian company purchase 1/2 of the United States Uranium reserves?
How much money was donated by Russian companies to your Foundation?
When you worked for the State Department how did you conduct Secret Classified business without using a secure email server?
What kind of assault weapons were you funneling through Benghazi to ISIS in Syria before Ambassador Stevens was murdered?
Why were you interested in the over-throw of Assad in Syria?

When you left the White House after your husband’s last term as president, why did you steal $200,000.00 worth of furniture, China, and artwork that you were forced to return?

Mrs. Clinton, when you were Secretary of State, why did you solicit contributions from foreign governments for the Clinton foundation after you promised President Obama you would not?
Mrs. Clinton, why do you and your husband claim to contribute millions of dollars to charity for a tax write off when it goes to your family foundation, (slush fund), that gives out less than 5% of the funds
You collect and you use the balance to support yourself tax free?

Mrs. Clinton, why are you unable to account for 6 billion dollars of State department funds that seem to have disappeared while you were Secretary of State?
Mrs. Clinton, why did you say you were broke when you left the White House, but you purchased a $2 million home, built an addition for the secret service, and charged the tax payers of the United States rent in an amount equal to the entire mortgage?
And Mrs. Clinton, how is it that your daughter, Chelsea, can afford to buy a $10.5 million apartment in New York City shortly after you left the White House?

And speaking of Chelsea, how is it that her first paying job, in her late 20’s, was for more than the salary of the President of the United States? Was there a quid pro quo of any sort involved??

Mrs. Clinton why did you lie to the American people about the terrorist attack in Benghazi but managed to tell the truth to your daughter the same night it happened?

Mrs. Clinton why did you lose your law license? Why did your husband lose his?
Mrs. Clinton, what really happened to Ron Brown when he was about to testify against you and your husband?

Why did you lie to the public for over a year that you never sent classified information from your private illegal server? Why did you delete over 33.000 e-mails and then bleach your computer hard drive from that same server?

Why did you lie about being in danger and taking fire when you landed in Bosnia? 

Take your time to respond Mrs. Clinton…….

 

Ps. There are hundreds of other examples of her lies, just not enough time to list them all.

Some people will think I am taking sides in the presidential debate, but I am not. Most politicians get voted in because the public, well some of them, believe the lies they tell. This is just an example of the some of them. There are a lot more, in fact, the list is endless!

Roy.

The Russia Dilemma

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, European Union, Germany, News, Nuclear Weapons, Obama, Politics, Russia with tags , , , , on 24/06/2016 by floroy1942

1It may not be top of the news at the moment, what with the Brexit referendum, but we should spare a thought for the rising tensions between Russia and the West. If things keep going the way they are we could be heading for a war on the European continent within a short time.

NATO is moving four battalions of extra troops into Poland, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania on top of the missiles they have already moved into eastern nations because they fear a Russian attack on these countries.

As you would expect, the Russian leaders are worried because they consider this a threat to them, and are moving extra troops into their western border areas. So we have a build-up of troops on both sides of the border with Russia, and to say the least, this is an inflammatory situation that neither side wants.

The problem is that if the Russians answer this new NATO threat by adding yet more troops to the border area then NATO will answer with even more troops and so it goes on. As the tensions rise, at some point in the future the dam will break and we will be in a third world war.

So what do we do about it?

It would seem to me that the only solution is for both sides to pull back their forces and have a so-called ‘neutral zone’ between the two sides. All the border countries like Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland and Ukraine must become neutral nations much like Switzerland. All foreign forces must be withdrawn and Russia must provide a similar zone on their side of the border.

It will take some high-level talks to agree to this plan, but to me that is the only option if we are to solve this problem. When tensions rise between countries it inevitably turns to war if either or both do not back down.

It would seem to me that the only way to solve this problem is for dialogue between America, NATO and the Russians if we are to avoid a war. With the number of nuclear weapons both sides hold it would only take one idiot to push a button and we could see a nuclear war between east and west which may well signal the end of humanity on this planet.

I for one would not like to see this, for I may be old but I’m not dead yet.

The big problem with the world today is a total lack of common sense in governments everywhere. I might add that goes for the greater majority of the populace of the world.

All nations should think more about working together to solve the many problems that abound in the world today, instead of being ‘out for what they can get’.

Little countries like Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia will be of no great significance to a country as large as Russia, and the same goes for the western nations. They are but a pinprick on the map of the world. It is true that to take these countries back will give Russia a large swathe of the Baltic Sea coastline, but if there is peace why would they need it.

The major countries involved in this threat must come together and talk, for that is the only way we keep peace on our planet. If the current tensions continue to rise we can look forward to a war within the not too distant future and we must prevent that at all costs. The main reason being, the future of mankind on this planet is at stake.

Roy.

Should We Give In To Obama’s Blackmail?

Posted in America, Britain, David Cameron, England, European Union, Human Rights, Immigration, News, Obama, Politics with tags , , , , on 24/04/2016 by floroy1942
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The Two Love Birds

America it seems is now wielding the ‘big stick’ in the Brexit campaign in a shameless effort to get Britain to stay in the European Union. What this has to do with America is beyond me, for it is something the British people must decide for themselves.

But Obama has waded in by saying that should we leave, any trade agreements with America could take ten years to be ratified – Why? To my mind, any trade agreements we have with the USA have nothing whatsoever to do with Europe, for it would be between them and us.

This is just out and out blackmail to help Cameron in his efforts to convince the British people that we should stay in the Union. Now Hillary Clinton has waded into the fray by saying that she too believes we should stay.

To say that these revelations are annoying is putting it mildly, but the American government would control the world if it had a chance, and this is just a another example of their meddling.

I apologise to the American people for this outburst, for this is not a slight against them, for I guess they know as well as I do how their government operates. The USA may well be the most powerful country in the western world, but there is no excuse for throwing its weight around in things that do not concern them.

I may not be a politician or even a businessman, but I fail to see what influence Britain’s separation from the E.U. has to do with trade agreements between our two countries. We have been working together ever since the Second World War and there is no evidence of problems with trade agreements that are mutually beneficial to us both. They are between Britain and the USA and have nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of Europe.

178408_600There can be little doubt that the way the E.U. is heading, i.e. a single state controlled from Brussels is not a good thing, for the members of the European Council have already proven their incompetence time and time again with their stupid rules and regulations.

Our Justice system has been all but destroyed by the interference from the Human Rights Commision, and our country is being overrun by immigrants because we no longer have control of our borders. This is just two of the most important examples.

National government control in all European countries is slowly being eroded away by those idiots in Brussels and to what purpose, to form the United States of Europe under their sole control.

Their total incompetence has also been for all the world to see over the past year with the refugee crisis that has caused major problems for every country in the Union.

Britain needs to get out from under the stranglehold that is tightening around  every European nation, and you can be almost certain that should Britain leave, many other countries will follow.

There is already unrest among the common people in countries like France, Germany, Holland, Sweden and many others, all caused by the refugee crisis. This is a sure sign that given the chance, many would vote ‘out’ because it would mean they can once again control their own borders.

The European Union was a fine idea when it first started because it meant real cooperation between member states, but when you consider that the people in Brussels have got ‘too big for their boots’, the whole plan is falling apart. The amount of control they wish to maintain over member states is becoming intolerable.

I sincerely hope that the people of Britain will not be swayed by Obama’s comments during his stay in the country, for it is up to each and every individual to make up their own minds and vote accordingly.

Roy.

Fun And Laughter

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, Obama, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 16/04/2016 by floroy1942

1

A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well,” says the policeman, “tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year,” and fines her $5. The girl looks up at the policeman and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?” The policeman chuckles and replies, “He sure did!” “Well,” says the little girl, “next year, tell Santa the ass goes on the back of the horse and not on top of it.”

2

A blonde goes to the doctor’s and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!”

4

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

5

An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, “Because they are considered of lesser status.” Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, “What has changed?” The guide answered, “Land mines.”

5

A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady. “Hello there and what is your name?” “Hello,” giggles the woman, “I’m Stacey. What’s yours?” “I’m Jim.” “Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?” “Sure!” replies Jim. “Let’s go!” At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey’s desk and asks, “Is this your brother?” “No, it isn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles. “Is it your husband?” Stacey giggles even more, “No, silly!” “Then, it must be your boyfriend!” Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim’s ear. She says, “No, silly!” “Then, who is it?” Stacey replies, “That’s me before my operation!”

6

Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day. Due to a minor clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven. When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn’t swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven. The next day the paperwork got worked out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked the Pope, “How was your night in Hell?” “Very educational,” responded the Pope. “I’ve learned a lot from the experience, but now I’m glad I’m going to Heaven. I’ve been waiting all my life to meet the Virgin Mary.” “Ooh, sorry,” said Clinton, “you should have been there yesterday.”

7

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ’em, huh, sir?”

 

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, “Acts 2:38: ‘Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'” The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, “Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?” The robber said, “She said she had an axe and two 38’s!”

9

On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, “Mommy, what does bastard mean?” She answers, “Um, it means boy.” Then he asks, “Daddy, what does bitch mean?” He says, “Uh, it means girl.” Later that day, the boy sees his father in the bathroom shaving; the dad accidentally cuts himself and says, “Sh*t.” The son asks, “What does that mean?” The dad says, “It means shaving cream.” Then he sees his mom in the kitchen carving the turkey; she accidentally cuts herself and says, “F*ck.” The son asks her what that word means and she says, “It means carving.” That evening, the family’s guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. The son opens the door to welcome them and says, “Welcome bitches and bastards! My dad is in the bathroom rubbing sh*t on his face and my mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey.”11

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”

12

I hope this brightened your day.

Roy.

How About This For A Ukraine Peace Plan

Posted in America, Britain, European Union, Government, News, Nuclear Weapons, Obama, Politics, Russia, United Nations with tags , , , , on 08/02/2015 by floroy1942

Ever since the beginning of the Ukraine crisis politicians have argued over how to solve the problem and prevent an all-out war between Russia and the West, but none of it is going anywhere. Each time someone opens their mouth we edge a little closer to war without a proper solution in sight. As I see it, and I am by no means an expert, it would seem that a little basic common sense would solve the issue.

Let us first take a look at the Russian side of things. It is clear that Russia first of all wants to retain and protect its naval base in Sevastopol in the Crimea.

Russian Naval Base Sevastopol

Russian Naval Base Sevastopol

The land and port have been leased by Russia since 1997, but in 2008 the Ukrainian government informed Russia that when the lease expired in 2017 it would not be renewed. Russia then threatened to increase the price of natural gas upon which the country depended, and finally the government relented, extending the lease to 2042.

Murmansk Naval Base

Murmansk Naval Base

The base is important to Russia because it is the only ‘warm-water’ port for their naval fleet, the other major bases being Murmansk in northern Russia in the Arctic Circle, and Vladivostok on the Pacific coast of Russia. Strategically speaking, Sevastopol is the only base within easy striking distance of European, Middle East and African countries, the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic. It is vitally important  to the Russians for this reason. It would however make things extremely difficult for Russia if the Ukraine were to become a member of the E.U. and NATO.

Secondly, I believe that Russia does not want another country on its border with Europe to be occupied by NATO Forces, which is what the Western politicians, and in particular the USA want.

NATO Expansion

NATO Expansion

Currently the only three countries that are full members of NATO bordering Russia are the very small Baltic states of Latvia and Lithuania and a part of Poland, but if Ukraine joins, as it wishes to, this will then put a very large swathe of Russian territory within easy reach of NATO forces. In the event of future conflict this will mean Russia will no longer have the advantage of a buffer state.

Finally, it is clear that eastern Ukraine, or at least some element of it, wishes to retain its ties with Russia and does not wish to become part of NATO or the European Union.

Ukraine Ethnicities

Ukraine Ethnicities

After the fall of the Berlin wall the and Russian domination of Eastern Europe, the east of Ukraine has retained its close ties with Russia. In the current battles it is certain that Russia has exerted a lot of influence in the eastern provinces and Russia has assisted the rebels.

So far as the USA and Europe are concerned, I believe their main aim is to expand territory that comes under their control through NATO and the European Union. It is known that the President of Ukraine has requested membership of both organizations but I have to ask if this is absolutely necessary for the country. There can be little doubt that trade agreements can be made with many countries without having to join NATO or the E.U. An agreement can also be drawn up to protect the country from invasion without it becoming a part of any Alliance.

So, in a nutshell this is the situation. I understand that it is grossly simplified but I believe it covers the main arguments for and against. The big problem is what to do to reach an agreement that will satisfy all parties.

Ukraine Trade Balance

Ukraine Trade Balance

Looking at these facts it comes to mind that first of all Ukraine should be recognized as a neutral country much the same as Switzerland and Sweden. This will remove any tension in Russia regarding the presence of western forces on their border.  With such a position, eastern Ukraine will still be able to trade with Russia if they wish while the rest of the country can trade with whomsoever they please. Naturally such an agreement would mean them not becoming a full member of the European Union, but negotiations could still be agreed with regard to trade.

It is essential that the USA and Europe back off from their plans to make Ukraine a NATO member, even though the government there have requested it. This action would give assurance to Russia that rival troops and bases would not be on their doorstep.

A written agreement should be signed assuring the continued presence of the Black Sea Fleet in the base at Sevastopol which would go a long way to reducing tension. This base provides thousands of jobs in the east of the country and is without doubt a benefit to the economy.

Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond

Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond

One immediate step forward would be to see an end to inflammatory remarks such as those made recently by British Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond who accused Vladimir Putin of acting like a “mid-20th century tyrant” over Ukraine. Secondly all talk about sending arms to Ukraine by the USA and some European countries only inflames the situation.

If the leaders of Russia, the USA, Britain, Germany and France as the leading nations can sit around a table and discuss the measures I have laid out I believe the crisis would be over quickly.

It is not a question of any country ‘backing down’, but more one of respectable leaders ending a situation that could theoretically escalate into a third world war.

What Continued Escalation Can Lead To!

What Continued Escalation Can Lead To!

When crisis of this nature arise common sense must prevail, for this is not just a case of East versus West or the future of just one country. When tempers are frayed and rhetoric gets tough, eventually someone will press the button and it could mean the end of humanity on this planet.

Roy.

Weekend Laugh

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, Modern World, News, Obama with tags , , , on 29/11/2014 by floroy1942

It’s weekend and time to enjoy everything that makes you happy. Read on and put yourself in the mood.

The Doctor’s Visit

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past six months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in, so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.

The following day, the wife goes to the doctor’s office. The doctor asks her what’s wrong, why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband?

“Oh, that’s easily explained. For the past six months,” the wife says, “I’ve been taking a cab to work every morning. I don’t have any money.” The cab driver asks me, “Are you going to pay today, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what.’

“Then, when I get to work,” she continues, “I’m late, so the boss asks me, ‘Are we going to write this down in the book, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what.’

“I take a cab to go home after work and, as usual, I have no money. The cab driver asks me again, ‘So, are you going to pay this time, or what?’ Again, I take an ‘or what’. So you see, doc, by the time I get home I’m all tired out and don’t want it anymore.”

“Yes, I see,” replies the doctor. “So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?”

Oxygen

 

Someone Doesn’t like Fosters?

This lass says to me, “I gave my first ever blow job to my boyfriend today. Afterwards I had a pint of Fosters. Well, I had to do something to get that horrible taste out of my mouth. So I gave him another blow job”.

Jehova's

 

Three Women And A Poor Man

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said, “Have you ever had a hug?” The man said, “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?” The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and said, “‘ave ya ever been fooked, laddie?” The man broke into a big smile and said, “No.”

She said, “Well ya will be when the tide comes in.”

Glasses

The Travelling Salesman

A travelling salesman, out on the road for two months, was beginning to feel lonely and horny. He stopped in at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender what men did for fun around here. The bartender told him to go to room at the top of the stairs and wait for Vanessa. He did.

Soon the door opened to reveal the most beautiful black woman he had ever seen. “Hi, I’m Vanessa, and I’m $20,” she said. Much to his dismay the salesman had only $18, which he promptly offered. “Vanessa does not lower her standards for anyone,” she said. “I’ll send up Angela.”

A few minutes later a beautiful white woman appeared, took his money and treated him to a wonderful evening of sucking and fucking.

Twenty-five years later while on vacation, the salesman found himself in the same bar talking to the same bartender.

“Bet you don’t remember me,” he said. “Sure I do,” replied the bartender. “You’re the guy that knocked up Angela 25 years ago. That’s your son at the end of the bar. He’s been in every night for ten years, hoping to meet his daddy.

The salesman went over to the boy and said, “Son, I think I may be your daddy.”

The boy said, “Great! What is my last name?” “Bardowski,” the salesman said.

“Oh, no,” said the boy, “you mean that I waited ten years to find out that I’m Polish?”

“Hey, kid,” the salesman said, “two dollars more and you’da been black too!”

Doctor

Old Golfers

A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures in the morning. His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

“Is that so?” asked the first old guy. “Did he do a good job? “The second oldster replied, “Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 180 mph when it slammed me right in the nuts.”

The first old guy was confused and asked, “What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?”

His partner replied, “It was the first time in two years my teeth didn’t hurt.”

Sex

Band Aid

I tried to download the new Band-Aid song to raise money for victims of the Ebola outbreak, but my anti-virus software wouldn’t let me.

Bugs

When I was a kid… I thought earwigs were nasty bugs that crawled out of your ear, and then I was scared stiff when I heard about… cockroaches.

I hope you feel good right now. Have a good weekend.

Roy.

 

 

 

 

Obama Caught Out By Advanced Technology

Posted in America, Demonstration, Modern World, News, Obama, President, Summit, Terrorism, United Nations, USA with tags , , , , on 19/11/2014 by floroy1942

Its true what they say, you cannot stop the advances in technology that hit us from all sides on a daily basis. This time it seems that the President of the USA was caught out.

Air Force One

Air Force One

For decades the safety of the President has been in the hands of the Secret Service who are tasked with protecting him. But it would seem that now a new measure has been introduced thanks to advanced technology.

It concerns the safety surrounding Air Force One, the Boeing VC-25 that currently takes Obama around the world to various meetings, conferences and on diplomatic visits. Normally the aircraft always has a military escort but this is soon to be replaced.

New scientific advances have allowed the aircraft to become totally invisible, which will give the President and his entourage complete protection from terrorist attacks because you cannot shoot down what you cannot see.

The aircraft was ready for its maiden flight and an Air Force General asked Obama if he would like to fly on the test flight. Obama immediately agreed that he would and they proceeded to the airport. The following photo was taken as the President boarded the plane.

 

 

 

President Boards The New Invisible Air Force One

President Boards The New Invisible Air Force One

Roy.

Barbaric Atrocities And Yet The World Does Nothing! (Graphic)

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, Canada, Islamic Revolution, News, Obama, Politics, Terrorism, United Nations with tags , , , , on 14/10/2014 by floroy1942

Sometimes I despair at humanity today. Have we become so insular that we care for nothing unless it actually affects us personally? The battle against Muslim extremists has been going on for more than ten years, and things are now reaching a stage of such barbarity the like of which hasn’t been seen for close on five hundred years. I refer of course to the I.S. killers in Syria and Iraq.

Kobani Citizens Flee The Terror By Crossing Into Turkey

Kobani Citizens Flee The Terror By Crossing Into Turkey

Not long ago we had the public spectacle of the beheading of three innocent westerners shown live on TV across the world while their executioner gloated. Since that time the fighting in the Syrian border town of Kobani has been in the headlines with all its horrors.

I.S. Fighters Parade

I.S. Fighters Parade

The story of one Kobani resident who managed to flee across the border into Turkey is spine-chilling. The story comes from a thirteen-year-old boy who tried to flee across the border with his brother. He managed to slip through but his 20 year-old brother was captured by insurgents. As he ran he heard behind him “Blood-curdling” screams from his brother just before his head was cut off. The moment stays with him and he will never be able to forget it. He said, “They pushed him to the ground and sawed his head off, shouting ‘Allahu Akbar. I see it in my dreams every night and every morning I wake up and remember everything.”

On Display

On Display

Others who have escaped tell much the same story. Amin Fajar, a man with four children said, “I have seen tens, maybe hundreds, of bodies with their heads cut off. Others with just their hands or legs missing. I have seen faces with their eyes or tongues cut out – I can never forget it for as long as I live. They put the heads on display to scare us all.” After a pause he said, “The children saw the headless people. They saw them. My neighbour was beheaded because they said he was ‘delivering vegetables to the kaffir’. They burned his farm, livestock, even his bees – they destroyed everything.”

The horrible thing about the whole episode, is that according to witnesses, most of these terrible acts were carried out by European jihadists. Some were heard speaking English, while others were Chechen and other European nationalities.

I.S. In Syria

I.S. In Syria

In another harrowing tale Ahmed Bakki, who had a farm in a village near Kobane, said his cousin, a 48-year-old father of seven, stayed behind when the rest of the family fled. “We phoned my cousin and I.S. answered his phone. They said, ‘We’ve got his head, and we’re taking it to Jarabulus (an IS stronghold).” He added: “An English teacher in our village tried to reason with them, but they just called him a kaffir (non-believer) and tied him to their car and dragged him away. We heard they beheaded him later.”

Such are the atrocities currently being waged on civilians in and around Kobani. Those who cannot get away fear a massacre of epic proportions if I.S. takes over the town completely.

The U.N. Charter

The U.N. Charter

So the big question is: What is the rest of the world, with the exception of a very few nations, doing about it? Well, the short answer is:- Nothing! The greater majority of world countries, and in particular the United Nations, are quite prepared to sit on their collective hands and take no action to stop this atrocity. I don’t know about you, but I find that appalling.

NATO Participating Nations

NATO Participating Nations

The only action taken against this murdering band of cut-throats has been initiated by some NATO member countries on the initiative of President Obama of the USA. America, Britain, France and Denmark among others, along with the Arab States of Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates have all taken up arms against these monsters. Now even Australia has joined the coalition against these people. All NATO actions are restricted to bombing I.S. positions only but that is at least something.

But what of the rest of the world, and in particular the United Nations whose charter includes solving such situations. Apart from verbally ‘condemning’ the atrocities, the U.N. has done precisely nothing.

What The U.N. Is Currently About!

What The U.N. Is Currently About!

If this body functioned as it is supposed to do, it would be raising an international army to wipe these terrorists off the face of the earth. The only time this has been done effectively was in Korea in the 1950’s, and it worked. The old saying is true: “If you want world peace, you have to fight for it!”

Saudi Tornado Fighter

Saudi Tornado Fighter

Anyone who thinks this is not possible may quote the Arab reaction to such a move which may or may not be positive. In that case it is the responsibility of the U.N. to persuade the Arab nations that it is for a good cause. We already have five of them fighting alongside the western nations in Iraq and Syria and I believe it is because they do not want to see a terrorist state on their doorstep. The divide between Sunni’s and Shiites is great in some countries, and most Middle East nations realize that if I.S. end up dominating Iraq and Syria they will not stop there.

The Shia/Sunni Divide

The Shiite/Sunni Divide

Taliban

Taliban

I am convinced that all the trouble in the Middle East is the work of insurgents who infiltrated countries and started trouble. This is certainly true of Afghanistan and Iraq. Other Shiia controlled nations fear the spread of the Sunni I.S. into their own countries once they have consolidated their position in Iraq and Syria. I think they are right.

For the U.N. to convince these nations that their own survival rests on the defeat of I.S. should therefore not be too difficult. Once the Arab nations are on board other countries should be asked to contribute to an armed force that will enter both countries and put an end to I.S.

The problem of Syria is of course different, because that is really an internal problem and can perhaps only be solved by forcing the two sides to the negotiating table.

Boko Haram

Boko Haram

Terrorism is currently a world-wide problem with insurgents fighting in many countries across the world. In this too the United Nations should be taking a lead role in defeating them once and for all. Boko Haram and al Shabab are still active in Africa, the Taliban are still fighting in Afghanistan and in the Far East there are many groups active. Terrorism has become the main danger in the 21st century and unless it is stopped once and for all it will never end.

This means that unless everybody joins together to stamp out this curse the disease will spread until not a nation on Earth is safe. These people have but one goal, and that is to see the world become Islamic, and they will continue until either this is achieved, or they are dead. I prefer the latter!

Roy.

 

 

 

The U.N. Applies Pressure On I.S. – Really?

Posted in America, Britain, England, European Union, Islamic Revolution, News, Obama, Security Council, Terrorism, United Nations with tags , , , , on 11/09/2014 by floroy1942
The UN Security Council

The UN Security Council

The news is yet again full of the pressure that is being applied to the Islamic militants of I.S. But, sad to say, it is not coming from the right quarter i.e. the U.N.

Obama At The NATO Meeting

Obama At The NATO Meeting

This august body has been pussy-footing around with sanctions that target individuals recruiting, financing, supplying weapons, or fighting for Islamic State (IS), but has left it up to NATO to take any positive steps to defeat them. All the U.N. can come up with is sanctions, while under the leadership of the USA, NATO countries are actually taking action against these barbarians.

Korean War

Korean War

Born with such high ideals, and with the promise of a world at peace, the U.N. has, with the exception of the Korean War in 1950, not achieved anything in its mandate to stop wars between countries.

Mark Lyall Grant - Britain's UN Ambassador

Mark Lyall Grant – Britain’s UN Ambassador

UK ambassador to the UN Sir Mark Lyall Grant said Friday’s unanimous Security Council vote sent a “clear political message” that the world was acting to tackle the IS threat. By the time the U.N. gets off its fat a#se and takes some action the whole world will be Muslim.

For this international body to do no more than ‘condemn’ I.S. and ‘sanction’ a few individuals is not going to have any affect on the ambitions of the militants.

IS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi,

IS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi,

Do these idiots really think that once the leader of I.S. is told that the U.N. condemns the actions of his group, that he is going to say to his men: “OK Lads! Nice try, but it’s all over because the U.N. has said we cannot do this. Go home to your wives and children. Allah u Akbar!” The U.N., just like NATO must realize that nothing short of a force of arms is going to stop these Muslim fanatics. For without doubt, if they do establish their own country (Caliphate), they will then turn on their neighbours, and eventually us!

The Public's View Of NATO Action Against I.S.

The International Public’s View Of NATO Action Against I.S.

In these desperate times when Muslim fanaticism is spreading across the globe I am very glad that someone like Barack Obama has the foresight to initiate some positive action against these people.

American Air Strike

American Air Strike

While the American contribution has been going on for several weeks in the form of air strikes, I cannot say that the U.K.’s contribution has been as bold, for they have been dropping plates, knives, forks and spoons and frying pans to the beleaguered people “so they can eat”. The Americans and French have dropped arms to the Kurds who seem to be the only people capable of standing up to these killers. It is known that in many cases the Iraqi Army soldiers have dropped their weapons and run when attacked by elements of I.S.

The British Public's View

The British Public’s View

There can be little doubt that nothing less than a force of arms is going to rid the world of these fanatical killers. They must be wiped out to a man or they will come back and haunt us again in the future.

The U.N. - A Toothless Tiger

The U.N. – A Toothless Tiger

It bothers me that the U.N. proves yet again what a toothless tiger it really is. This body, trusted with world peace, should at the beginning have made it plain that either these people stop their activities and go home, or an international force of such size will be sent in to wipe them out. The same goes for Boko Haram, al-Shebab, al Quada, the Taliban and any other upstart group who thinks they can subjugate the people to their will.

We need serious action from the U.N., not years of ceaseless babble that does nothing for anyone.

Roy.

Finally The Arab League Take A Stance On IS

Posted in Al Quada, America, Arab, Britain, Islamic Revolution, News, Obama, UK, United Nations, USA with tags , , , , on 08/09/2014 by floroy1942

It was with some surprise that I read yesterday that the Arab League (a loose Arab version of the E.U.) has finally decided to take joint action against the IS terrorists. The one big question yet to be answered is: Does this include military action?

Arab League Chief Nabil al-Arabi

Arab League Chief Nabil al-Arabi

At a League meeting yesterday Arab League Chief Nabil al-Arabi said that the Arab States had agreed to take the “necessary measures”, including international cooperation to confront IS. He called for a military confrontation but would not explicitly back the American air strikes that have been hammering IS.

After the meeting the Arab League Chief said “The Arab foreign ministers have agreed to take the necessary measures to confront terrorist groups including IS. International cooperation is included; international cooperation on all fronts.”

Well, well! A big sigh of relief. At last the Arab League is going to take some stern action (they say) against terrorists operating in Arab countries, for which they are responsible, instead of leaving it to western nations.

Saudi Army

Saudi Army – See You In Iraq?

The only problem is, I am doubtful that we will see an international military force from Arab nations with ‘feet on the ground’ in Iraq and Syria to fight IS. To be honest, that is what it should be, but we all know they prefer to let western nations do their fighting for them, with the exception of  Jordan, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates who took a small part in ousting Gadaffi from Libya.

Throughout the last twenty years, whenever there has been problems like al Quada and the Taliban in Afghanistan, like Libya, Tunisia and Egypt, they have been consistently silent in condemning terrorist groups, even though they have been responsible for tens of thousands of Muslim deaths across the Middle East. They themselves made no effort to intervene militarily or otherwise in these situations. My only conclusion is that they must have been praying to Allah for guidance in all that time.

I.S. Brutal Killers - Crucified Christians

I.S. Brutal Killers – Crucified Christians

IS is a formation of Sunni Muslims who want to create their own state, which they have declared, but also want to control the world and make it one huge Islamic state complete with Sharia Law. Now that may well be the dream of all Muslims, if only in the mind, but the Arab Union is beginning to realize that IS is much more than al Quada or the Taliban, for they have much bigger goals.

This terror group have now placed roots in North African Nations like Morocco, Tunisia, Libya and Egypt, and you can be sure it will not end there. IS have also put down roots in Pakistan, India, Indonesia and even China. It is clear to see they are looking at the big picture.

NATO Gathering

NATO Gathering – Aug/Sept 2014

Up to a point, the Arab League has also been upstaged by the NATO countries yet again (re. Libya), and in particular President Obama, who has called together NATO countries to partake in the battle against IS in Iraq. To date, this does not cover using troops on the ground, but does include air strikes, which America is already carrying out with great effect.

You can also be certain the League member nations like Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Qatar, Bahrain, and the other seventeen member states are jittery because they see IS as a grave threat to themselves too. They realize the methods used by such groups in starting a take-over consists of fermenting unrest among the populace and turning it into civil war, which means those at the top would lose everything.

U.N. Gathering

U.N. Gathering

In my view, a group such as IS is a global threat, and it is up to all nations to come together and wipe them out. The only thing that I find disconcerting is the relative silence from the U.N. on this matter. I have heard no plans being put forward for an international force like Korea, to put an end to the barbarism in the Middle East where terrorists have raised their ugly head. They too have been upstaged by NATO.

Where it will all end is anybody’s guess, but I hope the nations of the world do not take too long before they start taking positive action against these people, for this is only the first of many battles that will be fought against Muslims in the future.

Roy.