Archive for the UK Category

Have A Laugh!

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, Spain, UK with tags , , , , on 08/08/2017 by floroy1942

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“I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short months ago …  At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Donald Trump took his Oath of Office. However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Soldiers, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President. It was then that I realized how far America’s military had deteriorated. Every one of them missed the bastard …

Car Keys

They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolenThen I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.” 

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!”

The commanding officer at the Russian Military Academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S. ) gave a lecture on ‘Potential Problems and Military Strategy’. At the end of the lecture, he asked are there questions? An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?”
The general answered both questions in the affirmative.
Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?”
The general replied, “All indications point to China”.
Everyone in the audience was shocked A third officer remarked, “General, we are a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese (an odds of 10 to 1). Can we win at all, or even survive?”
The general answered, “Just think about it  this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East there have been  a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs (an odds of 30 to 1), and Israel were always victorious.”
After a small pause, yet another officer from the back of the auditorium asked:  “Does Russia have enough Jews ?

Photos - Funny Pictures October 18, 2016:

 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
shower. She said, ‘Mummy, you are getting fat!’
I replied, ‘Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
tummy.’ ‘I know,’ she replied, but what’s growing in your bum?’

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The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. ‘Hello…Hello !’ she shouted. ‘Can anyone hear me? Hello !’ For a long while, there was no answer.  Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, ‘Hello!  Is anyone down there?’
Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,  “VOTE FOR CORBYN Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, ‘Oh, thank you, God!….At least Dopey is still alive !’

Most people today think it’s improper to discipline children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have had one of ‘those moments.’ Since I’m a pilot, one method that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behavior. I don’t know whether it’s the steady vibration from the engines, or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, video games, computer, iPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and  stop misbehaving after our flight together. I believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in achieving the desired results. I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique. Should work with grandkids too!

How the British have passively succumbed to the Muslim invasion:
When you leave the hen house gate open, don’t cry after the fox has taken the chickens….
Mayor of London … MUSLIM
Mayor of Birmingham … MUSLIM
Mayor of Leeds … MUSLIM
Mayor of Blackburn … MUSLIM
Mayor of Sheffield … MUSLIM
Mayor of Oxford … MUSLIM
Mayor of Luton … MUSLIM
Mayor of Oldham … MUSLIM
Mayor of Rochdale … MUSLIM
Over 3,000 Muslim Mosques
Over 130 Muslim Sharia Courts
Over 50 Muslim Sharia Councils
Muslims-Only No-Go Areas Across The UK
Muslim Women … 78% don’t work and are on FREE benefits/housing
Muslim Men … 63% don’t work and are on FREE benefits/housing
Muslim Families … 6-8 children planning to go on FREE benefits/housing
… and now all UK schools are ONLY serving HALAL MEAT!
All this achieved by just 4 million Muslims out of the 66 million population!

 This is a very nice souvenir photograph of 24 newly wedded couples in Enfield:

 

Just hope, for their sake that each husband goes home with the right table cloth..

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 A son asked his mother the following  question:  ‘ Mom, why  are wedding dresses white? ‘ The mother looks at her son and replies: ‘ Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.’  The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.  ‘ Dad why are wedding dresses white?  ‘ The father  looks at his son in surprise and says: ‘Son, all household appliances come in white.’ The husband is still in intensive care and the prognosis is not good!!!

Think old & you'll be old, think young and you'll be a delusional old fart!:

 A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.’
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, ‘I’m Jane Sugarbrown.’
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, ‘Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?’ She replied, ‘I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.’

 

I hope you enjoyed it. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

Time To Shut Blair Up!

Posted in America, Britain, England, European Union, Government, Immigration, News, People's Rights, Terrorism, UK with tags , , , , on 16/07/2017 by floroy1942

Tony Blair – Still Trying To Sabotage Britain

Once again Tony Blair is in the news saying that he thinks Brexit should not happen. Its time to shut this man up and put him in prison for what he has done to this country.

No politician in history has damaged this country as much as he has. He took us into the Iraq War, and then proceeded to allow millions of Muslim people into the the country, and look what a mess it is.

He has been in the news today saying that we should forget Brexit. Mr Blair told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge: “I think it’s possible now that Brexit doesn’t happen. I think it’s absolutely necessary that it doesn’t happen because I think every day is bringing us fresh evidence that it’s doing us damage economically, certainly doing us damage politically.”

What he doesn’t realize is that once we are out from under the yoke of the E.U. we will be able to govern our own country without interference from Brussels. The E.U. has caused so much trouble in the U.K. that, for example. we cannot give killers a proper prison sentence anymore. They are released within three to four years and are back on the streets again.

Also, we cannot deport radicals that live among us because of the European Human Rights Council. Once we are free of this institution we will once again be able to make our own laws and deport these people.

The European Union has got so bogged down with every member looking out for their own interests that they have driven our country into the dirt. It is time for this to stop so that we can make our own laws and not be dictated to by Brussels.

There is no doubt that it will take years for Britain to get back to a normal life like we used to have.

Tony Blair said in an article published by his Institute for Global Change that “The European leaders, certainly from my discussions, are willing to consider changes to accommodate Britain, including around freedom of movement. The opposition to free movement of people, once you break it down, is much more nuanced. The French and Germans share some of the British worries, notably around immigration, and would compromise on freedom of movement.”

It is clear that Blair is trying to sabotage the Brexit movement and in my opinion he should not be allowed to enter any discussions on Brexit. He has done enough damage to this country during his twelve years in office and he should be arrested and charged with destroying the British culture and way of life.

Roy.

Why Do We Not Deport Terrorists?

Posted in Al Quada, America, Britain, England, Immigrants, Islamic State, News, Politics, Terrorism, UK with tags , , , , on 28/06/2017 by floroy1942

It is a sad indication of the Law these days that terrorists cannot be deported. This is mostly due to the Human Rights Council and European Laws.

I read a report today that states that at least forty convicted terrorists have not been deported because the Home Office is not doing its job, not forgetting the interference from the European Human Rights Council.

When these people are caught they are put in prison for three to four years and then released back into our society. We have these people living among us and who is to say they will not commit more atrocities after they are released.

Known Member Of al Qaeda

British Law has taken a nosedive from what it used to be fifty years ago and the situation is going to get far worse. If these people know they cannot be deported back to their own country the violence will never cease.

“In the court cases, lawyers – typically funded through legal aid – have successfully prevented foreign-born terror suspects from being sent back to their home countries. The scheme – in theory – allows the UK to expel terror suspects with guarantees they will not be mistreated or even tortured in their home country. But it appears to have broken down allowing terrorists to remain in the UK. The report is potentially embarrassing for the Prime Minister because it is expected to highlight the collapse of an initiative she pushed hard for while in the Home Office.”

It took Britain over ten years to deport the hate preachers Abu Qatada and Abu Hamsa, since then very few have been deported. Once the Police and MI5 have proven that they belong to a jihadist network they should be arrested and deported within weeks.

Professor Clive Walker, an international law expert said: “My research suggests there are more than 40 foreign terrorists convicted in the UK who have avoided deportation using the human rights act. The figure is much larger than was previously thought.”

Lord Carlile, Mr Anderson’s predecessor as the independent reviewer of terror legislation said, “My role in it was to compile a detailed description of the rules and regulations about deportation with assurances. I still think the Home Office wish to pursue DWA.”

Abu Qatada – Finally Deported

The DWA stands for Deportation With Assurance, which means that terrorists sent back to their own country will not be tortured or abused. This is one of the reasons it took so long to deport Abu Qatada.

It is a sad fact that there are many militants living among us and although MI5 and the Police know who many are, they cannot be arrested and deported because of British Laws and the European Laws. We must wait until someone dies.

Among those understood to have used the Human Rights Act to resist deportation include jihadists linked to the failed 21/7 bomb plot in 2005, who were jailed in the UK and subsequently released after serving their sentences. Another is an Algerian terrorist imprisoned for funding al-Qaeda training camps but since free after serving his sentence.

People Fleeing For Their Lives

There is huge pressure on the Anti-terror Police and the Security Services after the three recent terror attacks, for all perpetrators were known to the Police but they did nothing to remove them or prevent the attacks. “The attacks in recent months demonstrates the need to protect the public and that this should outweigh the human rights of terrorists,” said Lord Carlile. I have to admit that I fully agree with this statement.

Since these terror attacks have begun just twelve foreign born jihadists have been deported under DWA rules. By contrast, France has deported 120 terrorists back to their own country.

Theresa May has said recently that all known jihadists will be deported, but we will have to wait and see if this really happens.

Roy.

It’s All About Money – The Grenfell Tower Disaster

Posted in America, Britain, Budget Cuts, England, Environment, European Union, News, People's Rights, UK, USA with tags , , , on 18/06/2017 by floroy1942

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The Grenfell Tower disaster has cost many lives, and for sure the number of dead will increase as the investigation continues. If proper safety measures had been installed in the tower this would never have happened. But as usual it all comes down to money.

Businesses are always looking out for the cheapest possible way to solve problems, and this is evident in the Grenfell Tower killings. Why did they not install sprinkler systems to safeguard all floors? Why did they not use fire-retardant cladding on the outside of the building. These are questions that should be asked when the investigation begins.

Money rules the country in this day and age and all businesses are out to make as much profit as they can by  spending as little as possible on a project. Safety is of little concern to these people and they just hope that nothing happens.

It has been reported that the cladding fixed to the outside of the building was not fireproof and this was the major cause of the whole tower becoming a raging inferno. People living on the upper floors were not able to get down to ground level and save their lives so they all died in a most horrible way.

If the builders of the tower has spent a little more money to make the highrise safer many more would have survived. But it is a sign of our times where money rules everything.

I can understand the frustration of those that have survived for they have lost everything. Families, sons and daughters, parents and friends all because the builders wanted to save money. It is tragic when money rules everything.

Throughout the world the highrise has become extremely popular for we see them in cities across the world. Some may have the proper safety procedures, but not all, in fact, very few.

I think you are in constant danger when living in a highrise for the danger of fire is a constant threat. It only takes some idiot to make a mistake lower down and the entire tower is in danger.

The builders of these towers need to do whatever they can to make them safe in the event of an accident. They need to ensure that if a fire breaks out it does not spread to other floors, and that there is a proper escape plan for all residents. As these buildings get older the risk of tragedy gets steadily worse.

Roy.

What A Catastrophe!

Posted in America, Britain, Conservative Party, Elections, European Union, Immigration, News, Politics, UK on 11/06/2017 by floroy1942
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A Campaign That Went Horribly Wrong

Theresa May was confident of victory in the recent election but it has all gone pear-shaped. She lost a lot of seats in the Commons and is now ruling by a thread. Her attempts to get the DDP backing is not going too well and it seems she may not be P.M. for much longer.

In effect, the election has backfired on her and she is in dire trouble. She insists she will still run the country, but for how long? Coupled with the Brexit negotiations this has been the biggest hiccup in a long time.

I shudder to think how the Brexit negotiations will go if Corbyn ever gets to be Prime Minister, for he is weak and may well give in to many of Europe’s demands.

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Lets Hope He Never Gets To Live In No. 10

He is flying high at the moment because of the Labour victory at the polls, but I think if he becomes Prime Minister many of his voters will rue the day they voted for him. The man is a fool and has made many promises to the electorate, but if he gets into power, how many will he keep. Like the last labour government under Tony Blair he will drive the country into debt with all his promises.

He has already said that he will not restrict the inflow of refugees into the country, most of whom are Muslims and that will cause havoc in the future. We already have far too many Muslims in the country and they are steadily taking over towns and large parts of cities. If Corbyn allows ever more in, how long will it be before they take over the whole country?

The politics of Britain are at the moment an utter shambles, and with the Brexit negotiations coming up within a couple weeks who knows what sort of deal will be made with Europe. I think we will come out of it much better if Theresa May handles the negotiations rather than Corbyn.

Roy.

Britain Today

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, Germany, Modern World, News, UK with tags , , , , on 12/05/2017 by floroy1942

Britain is not what it used to be and the evidence is below:

Daftland

We live in a country called Daftland
The England we knew is no more
Where sensible people do ludicrous things
Or risk breaking some Daftland law.

In Daftland we’ve police dogs with muzzles
Less the villain has cause to complain
And to steal from a shop and say ‘sorry’
Means you’re free with no stain to your name.

You had better leave lights on in buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
’cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering
And there’s no way you’ll be in the right.

When speaking be wary in Daftland
As some terms that you’ve used all your life
Now have connotations unintended
And you’ll end up in all sorts of strife.

We elect politicians in Daftland
To give us the laws of the land
Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad
The whole thing has got out of hand.

The borders are open in Daftland
And of migrants there’s no keeping track
Just a few of the thousands illegally here
Will ever be caught and sent back.

The exception to this is the hero
Who fought for this land in the war
He’s old and he’s sick, he might cost us a bit
So he’s not welcome here any more.

When the history is written of Daftland
Historians may just recall
That the craziest people in Daftland
Were the public who put up with it all.

I received this by email and thought it worthy of sharing because it really hit the ‘nail on the head’.

Roy.

Time For A Laugh

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, Europe, Germany, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 06/05/2017 by floroy1942

A Kiwi emigrated to Oz and opened up a petrol station. To increase its sales he put up a sign saying, ‘Free Sex with Fill-Up.’ Soon a local, Bill, pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The Kiwi told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Bill then guessed 8, and the Kiwi said, ‘You were close’ the number was 7.  Sorry, no sex this time. A week later, Bill and his mate Bluey pulled in for a fill-up at the same station. Again Bill asked for his free sex. Again he got the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Bill guessed 2 this time. Again the Kiwi said, ‘Sorry, it was 4 ‘You were close’ but no free sex this time.’ As they were driving away, Bill said to his mate Bluey, ‘I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.’  Bluey replied, ‘No it ain’t Bill, it ain’t rigged – my missus won twice last week.

A very cute Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating shrimp. Every time he ate one, he deliberately spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to dodge or deflect it. He finished the box of shrimp and threw it out the window.  Seeing this, she’d had enough of his rudeness, lack of manners, and his total disdain of women. She got up and pulled the train’s Emergency Cord. The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid female, worthless Infidel, Catholic Bitch.” She smiled and said to him, “When I cry rape and they smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years in prison, you towel-headed Goat Shagger! 

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Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’ His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’ The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’ ‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked ‘Yes,’ he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’ The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’ The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’ After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

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You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B. Your blood-test results. C. Five tequila slammers!

You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that: A. Your partner climaxes first. B. You both climax  simultaneously. C. You don’t miss the Golf on Sky sports!

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me…. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.” Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?” She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.” With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked… “Then why did you eat him?”

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A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, “What are your three wishes?” The man replied, “Give me the shotgun and bullets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ….”

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Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest,” I’m Jesus Christ.” The Priest replies,” No son, you’re not!” So he says to the second,”I’m Jesus Christ.” He says,”No, son, you’re not.” The drunk says,” Look I can prove it.” He takes the two Priests into the bar. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says,” JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE HERE AGAIN!!!”

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A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. after a while they realise both of there wedding anniversaries are the next day. Poor man, “What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversary?” Rich man, “I got her a pink ferrari and a diamond ring.” Poor man, “What made you choose those gifts?” Rich man, “She loves fast cars and I wasnt sure about the ring so if she doesnt like it, she can take it back in her new car… ” The poor, “Man nodds in agreement.” Rich man, “What did you get your wife?” Poor man, “I got my wife a pair of cheap slippers and a dildo.” Rich man, “Why did you choose those gifts?” Poor man, ” Well if she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f**ck herself.”

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Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?” His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.” “Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!” “What do you mean?” said Dad. “Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!”

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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my privates inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his privates unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone 100 dollars who’s willing to give it a try.” A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up. “I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

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Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in appropriate parts and said to his dad, “I wish I could do that.” Jimmy’s dad looked down at Jimmy and said, “Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!!”

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A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night.” The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning.” The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try. When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face. As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet. Seeing her he screamed, “What the hell are you doing in here?!” “Quiet!”, she exclaimed. “You’ll wake my mother.”

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A blonde and brunette are having tea when suddenly the phone rings. The blonde picks it up and immediately starts crying. Her brunette friend asks her, “Why are you crying dear?” Blonde says, “Because my mom just called and said that my father just died. “I’m so sorry,” says the brunette. The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings again. She picks it up and starts crying again. The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the blonde replies, “My brother just called and said that his father died too.”

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I hope you had a laugh. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

 

 

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