Archive for the Canada Category

What To Do About The Weather

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, China, Conservation, Environment, European Union, Health, Modern World, News with tags , , , , on 14/08/2017 by floroy1942

In the last few years we have seen drastic weather changes all across the world. Flooding, drought, heat waves and huge storms have hit our planet as never before. These have all been caused by us humans, for we have contaminated the atmosphere as never before. This is all due to the massive amount of traffic on our roads, and factories that pump out carbon dioxide all of which poison the atmosphere. Instead of allowing the heat to dissipate in space it is trapped in our atmosphere by the pollution. This causes temperatures around the globe to rise as never before. All life on the planet is suffering because of this.

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The trouble is the majority of people just don’t care about it, for if they did they would stop buying diesel engined cars for a start and begin reducing the amount of traffic on our roads. Some families have three and four cars, one for father, one for mother, and at least one for the grown-up children. They just do not see that so many cars on our roads are causing this atmospheric problem.

As we look into the future we see that electric cars may eventually take over. But the one problem with this is we do not have enough power stations across the world to carry this extra load. Already we are getting close to overloading our power stations, what with all the gadgets we own. So the introduction of electric cars will cause a total collapse of the power generation system. We have to find another way!

Image result for climate changeThe British government is trying to outlaw all diesel vehicles by 2040, but to me that is far too late. We must start taking action now! Even if we stop contaminating our atmosphere it will take tens of years, maybe hundreds before the world gets back to normal. In the meantime many hundreds of thousands will die from our poisonous atmosphere. Lung cancer is steadily on the rise, and they are people who do not smoke but live in heavily contaminated cities like London, Shanghai and Riyad. You only have to look at photo’s of these cities, and many more, to see the cloud of contamination that covers them.

If we do not start acting now mankind will be almost extinct on this planet, for our world, for the most part, will become unlivable. Would you really want to go about your daily business wearing a gas mask? No, I thought not!

The sad thing is, most people do not think of the future but are content to live their lives as they do, and to hell with the future. But what sort of life are we leaving our children and their children? We all love our children, but we have no thought about the situation we are leaving them. You may not have to go around wearing a gas mask but what if they do?

A quote: “According to experts, by 2100 weather-related disasters could affect two thirds of Europe’s population per year, with yearly deaths caused by extreme weather predicted to soar 50 times from 3,000 between 1981 and 2010 to 152,000 between 2071 and 2100.” Currently people are living well into their eighties but that figure will drop like a stone in the years to come, and all because of the way we are polluting our atmosphere.

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You may well read this and brush it off as nonsense because it doesn’t affect you, but there is no getting away from the problems we will face in the near future. Unless every single one of us starts to make changes in the way we live, we will see in years to come major problems for mankind. But it won’t affect us, it will affect your children and theirs.

 A quote: Lead scientist Dr Giovanni Forzieri, from the European Commission’s Joint Research Centre in Italy, said: “Climate change is one of the biggest global threats to human health of the 21st century, and its peril to society will be increasingly connected to weather-driven hazards. Unless global warming is curbed as a matter of urgency and appropriate measures are taken, about 350 million Europeans could be exposed to harmful climate extremes on an annual basis by the end of the century.”

Image result for climate changeIt is said by scientists that Spain will become a desert because of its lack of rain which is getting worse by the year. It is not the only country that will see such a future, but it could also apply to all Mediterranean countries too. Huge swathes of Africa will no longer be livable as the temperatures increase and the Sahara Desert will take over much of the continent. We are not only talking about Africa and Europe, but America will see much the same in its middle regions.

No matter how much warning we get from scientists the people brush it off as nonsense and that is dangerous. We have to do something to stop this climate change, and that means all of us!

Roy.

Have A Laugh!

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, Spain, UK with tags , , , , on 08/08/2017 by floroy1942

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“I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short months ago …  At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Donald Trump took his Oath of Office. However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Soldiers, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President. It was then that I realized how far America’s military had deteriorated. Every one of them missed the bastard …

Car Keys

They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolenThen I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.” 

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!”

The commanding officer at the Russian Military Academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S. ) gave a lecture on ‘Potential Problems and Military Strategy’. At the end of the lecture, he asked are there questions? An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?”
The general answered both questions in the affirmative.
Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?”
The general replied, “All indications point to China”.
Everyone in the audience was shocked A third officer remarked, “General, we are a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese (an odds of 10 to 1). Can we win at all, or even survive?”
The general answered, “Just think about it  this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East there have been  a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs (an odds of 30 to 1), and Israel were always victorious.”
After a small pause, yet another officer from the back of the auditorium asked:  “Does Russia have enough Jews ?

Photos - Funny Pictures October 18, 2016:

 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
shower. She said, ‘Mummy, you are getting fat!’
I replied, ‘Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
tummy.’ ‘I know,’ she replied, but what’s growing in your bum?’

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The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. ‘Hello…Hello !’ she shouted. ‘Can anyone hear me? Hello !’ For a long while, there was no answer.  Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, ‘Hello!  Is anyone down there?’
Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,  “VOTE FOR CORBYN Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, ‘Oh, thank you, God!….At least Dopey is still alive !’

Most people today think it’s improper to discipline children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have had one of ‘those moments.’ Since I’m a pilot, one method that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behavior. I don’t know whether it’s the steady vibration from the engines, or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, video games, computer, iPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and  stop misbehaving after our flight together. I believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in achieving the desired results. I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique. Should work with grandkids too!

How the British have passively succumbed to the Muslim invasion:
When you leave the hen house gate open, don’t cry after the fox has taken the chickens….
Mayor of London … MUSLIM
Mayor of Birmingham … MUSLIM
Mayor of Leeds … MUSLIM
Mayor of Blackburn … MUSLIM
Mayor of Sheffield … MUSLIM
Mayor of Oxford … MUSLIM
Mayor of Luton … MUSLIM
Mayor of Oldham … MUSLIM
Mayor of Rochdale … MUSLIM
Over 3,000 Muslim Mosques
Over 130 Muslim Sharia Courts
Over 50 Muslim Sharia Councils
Muslims-Only No-Go Areas Across The UK
Muslim Women … 78% don’t work and are on FREE benefits/housing
Muslim Men … 63% don’t work and are on FREE benefits/housing
Muslim Families … 6-8 children planning to go on FREE benefits/housing
… and now all UK schools are ONLY serving HALAL MEAT!
All this achieved by just 4 million Muslims out of the 66 million population!

 This is a very nice souvenir photograph of 24 newly wedded couples in Enfield:

 

Just hope, for their sake that each husband goes home with the right table cloth..

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 A son asked his mother the following  question:  ‘ Mom, why  are wedding dresses white? ‘ The mother looks at her son and replies: ‘ Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.’  The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.  ‘ Dad why are wedding dresses white?  ‘ The father  looks at his son in surprise and says: ‘Son, all household appliances come in white.’ The husband is still in intensive care and the prognosis is not good!!!

Think old & you'll be old, think young and you'll be a delusional old fart!:

 A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.’
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, ‘I’m Jane Sugarbrown.’
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, ‘Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?’ She replied, ‘I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.’

 

I hope you enjoyed it. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

Ignorance Is Bliss

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, Conservation, Environment, Europe, Forests, Health, Modern World, News with tags , , , , on 02/07/2017 by floroy1942
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Atmospheric Pollution In Cities

I wonder why today’s generation think that our weather patterns are normal? We have areas of the world today where temperatures are rising so fast that it is becoming unbearable. We have floods that have never been so destructive in the past, and droughts are common across many countries of the world.

In Africa for example, people are dying in their thousands because it is so hot and they have no food anymore. We have tremendous floods across the world where people see their houses washed away and many people die. In places like the United States and Portugal the air is so dry that forest fires spring up and reduce them to ashes. The one thing to remember is that we rely on trees among other things, like the sea,  to provide us with oxygen. Even the oceans are contaminated.

Whatever you might say, this is not normal, for fifty/sixty years ago these things never happened on such a huge scale. The world is destroying itself and there is no-one to blame but us humans.

Most of the weather changes have been caused by atmospheric contamination and we have our cars and factories to blame. If we continue like this I can see the end of mankind on this planet, for it will get so bad that the planet will be unlivable.

The sad thing is no-one is doing much to combat this threat to humanity. We have had climate conference after climate conference but nothing is changing, even though governments promise to do something about it.

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To begin with, measures must be taken to get rid of diesel engines for they are the worst polluters. Second, we need to reduce the number of vehicles on our roads drastically. It is unbelievable that many families have three or even four cars per household. This has to be reduced.

All factories must be made to curb contamination by making sure that they do not pump dangerous chemicals into the air. This will take many years to accomplish but it must be done if mankind is to survive on the Earth.

At the climate conferences all countries say they will abide by the rules that are drawn up, but they seldom do. Life goes on as it always has and the pollution is getting steadily worse. Day by day we see cities covered in smog, and in China for example, people go around wearing masks so the pollution does not get into their lungs. As time goes on this will spread to many other cities across the world.

It is time for governments across the world to make some hard decisions about climate change, for it will steadily get worse as time goes by. It is easy to say “it will be alright in the end”, but it will not. As the pollution of our atmosphere gets worse and worse people will have a very short lifespan, and that is inevitable.

The British Parliament – There For The People!

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, England, European Union, Government, Modern World, News, Parliament, Politics with tags , , , on 24/05/2017 by floroy1942

Just goes to show you how Parliament works:

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Some things are important, others are not!

Roy.

Britain Today

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, Germany, Modern World, News, UK with tags , , , , on 12/05/2017 by floroy1942

Britain is not what it used to be and the evidence is below:

Daftland

We live in a country called Daftland
The England we knew is no more
Where sensible people do ludicrous things
Or risk breaking some Daftland law.

In Daftland we’ve police dogs with muzzles
Less the villain has cause to complain
And to steal from a shop and say ‘sorry’
Means you’re free with no stain to your name.

You had better leave lights on in buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
’cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering
And there’s no way you’ll be in the right.

When speaking be wary in Daftland
As some terms that you’ve used all your life
Now have connotations unintended
And you’ll end up in all sorts of strife.

We elect politicians in Daftland
To give us the laws of the land
Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad
The whole thing has got out of hand.

The borders are open in Daftland
And of migrants there’s no keeping track
Just a few of the thousands illegally here
Will ever be caught and sent back.

The exception to this is the hero
Who fought for this land in the war
He’s old and he’s sick, he might cost us a bit
So he’s not welcome here any more.

When the history is written of Daftland
Historians may just recall
That the craziest people in Daftland
Were the public who put up with it all.

I received this by email and thought it worthy of sharing because it really hit the ‘nail on the head’.

Roy.

Time For A Laugh

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, Europe, Germany, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 06/05/2017 by floroy1942

A Kiwi emigrated to Oz and opened up a petrol station. To increase its sales he put up a sign saying, ‘Free Sex with Fill-Up.’ Soon a local, Bill, pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The Kiwi told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Bill then guessed 8, and the Kiwi said, ‘You were close’ the number was 7.  Sorry, no sex this time. A week later, Bill and his mate Bluey pulled in for a fill-up at the same station. Again Bill asked for his free sex. Again he got the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Bill guessed 2 this time. Again the Kiwi said, ‘Sorry, it was 4 ‘You were close’ but no free sex this time.’ As they were driving away, Bill said to his mate Bluey, ‘I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.’  Bluey replied, ‘No it ain’t Bill, it ain’t rigged – my missus won twice last week.

A very cute Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating shrimp. Every time he ate one, he deliberately spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to dodge or deflect it. He finished the box of shrimp and threw it out the window.  Seeing this, she’d had enough of his rudeness, lack of manners, and his total disdain of women. She got up and pulled the train’s Emergency Cord. The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid female, worthless Infidel, Catholic Bitch.” She smiled and said to him, “When I cry rape and they smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years in prison, you towel-headed Goat Shagger! 

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Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’ His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’ The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’ ‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked ‘Yes,’ he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’ The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’ The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’ After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

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You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B. Your blood-test results. C. Five tequila slammers!

You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that: A. Your partner climaxes first. B. You both climax  simultaneously. C. You don’t miss the Golf on Sky sports!

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me…. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.” Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?” She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.” With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked… “Then why did you eat him?”

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A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, “What are your three wishes?” The man replied, “Give me the shotgun and bullets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ….”

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Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest,” I’m Jesus Christ.” The Priest replies,” No son, you’re not!” So he says to the second,”I’m Jesus Christ.” He says,”No, son, you’re not.” The drunk says,” Look I can prove it.” He takes the two Priests into the bar. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says,” JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE HERE AGAIN!!!”

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A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. after a while they realise both of there wedding anniversaries are the next day. Poor man, “What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversary?” Rich man, “I got her a pink ferrari and a diamond ring.” Poor man, “What made you choose those gifts?” Rich man, “She loves fast cars and I wasnt sure about the ring so if she doesnt like it, she can take it back in her new car… ” The poor, “Man nodds in agreement.” Rich man, “What did you get your wife?” Poor man, “I got my wife a pair of cheap slippers and a dildo.” Rich man, “Why did you choose those gifts?” Poor man, ” Well if she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f**ck herself.”

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Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?” His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.” “Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!” “What do you mean?” said Dad. “Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!”

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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my privates inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his privates unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone 100 dollars who’s willing to give it a try.” A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up. “I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

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Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in appropriate parts and said to his dad, “I wish I could do that.” Jimmy’s dad looked down at Jimmy and said, “Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!!”

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A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night.” The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning.” The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try. When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face. As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet. Seeing her he screamed, “What the hell are you doing in here?!” “Quiet!”, she exclaimed. “You’ll wake my mother.”

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A blonde and brunette are having tea when suddenly the phone rings. The blonde picks it up and immediately starts crying. Her brunette friend asks her, “Why are you crying dear?” Blonde says, “Because my mom just called and said that my father just died. “I’m so sorry,” says the brunette. The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings again. She picks it up and starts crying again. The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the blonde replies, “My brother just called and said that his father died too.”

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I hope you had a laugh. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

 

 

Have A Laugh

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, Europe, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 07/04/2017 by floroy1942

What a good shave will do for you!

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating a snack cake The barber says to her, ‘Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your muffin..’ She says, ‘Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs too.’

A US Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Hendersonville, NC. He tells the priest, Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever-living crap out of a flag burning, cop-hating, Muslim Jihadist.” The priest says, “My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. ‘I asked them, ‘ If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?’ ‘NO!’ the children answered. ‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?’ Again, the answer was ‘NO!’ ‘If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?’  Again, they all answered ‘NO!’ I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, ‘Then how can I get into heaven?’ A little boy shouted out: ‘YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN’ DEAD.’

StarTrek

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Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the lights out of this bloke at a party.  In my defence… when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.

What’s the difference between a refugee and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learnt English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own bike and wanted to go home!

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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?’
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. ‘I can’t dear,’ she said. ‘I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.’ A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: ‘The big sissy.’

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The doctor took the husband in first. The husband was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated. He checked his blood pressure and other things then said he was going to check with the wife. He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly. She did as instructed. He then told her to turn all the way around in the other direction. Then he said – “Ok, good – you can get dressed now, and I will talk to your husband”. The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, “Well, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn’t get an erection either”

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I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him. I shouted. Where you off to Charlie? He said, I’m off to change a light bulb. Well, I just cracked up, couldn’t stop laughing. I said. That’s going to be a bit awkward init? Not really, He said. I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.

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A son asked his mother the following  question:  ‘ Mom, why  are wedding dresses white? ‘ The mother looks at her son and replies:  ‘ Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.’  The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.  ‘ Dad why are wedding dresses white?  The father  looks at his son in surprise and says: ‘Son, all household appliances come in white.’

I hope you enjoyed this little offering. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

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