Archive for October, 2014

Time For A Laugh

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, Canada, Europe, Germany, News, Senior Citizen, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 31/10/2014 by floroy1942

 Life is what you make it, and to have a good laugh now and then does you good.

Financial Planning

 Dan was a single guy living at home with his single father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father dies, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary guy,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit £200 million.”
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men!


 A Winter Tale

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through”. So the wife went out and moved their car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through”. The wife went out and moved their car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park…………”  then the electric power went out. The wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?”

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time.”


 One Liners.

I was in bed  with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.”

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the side-walk! At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Blacks is not the correct answer either.

There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber  jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular people-porn, you sick bastard.

A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her brother’s got a moustache.”

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway


My First Drink With My Son

I was readings an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Fosters, he didn’t like it – so I had it. Then I got him a Carling Black Label, he didn’t like it, so I had it. It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider. By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the bloody pram back home.


 Row, Row, Row Your Boat!

image111

 News Flash from Vancouver…….

The Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of BC today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boat was not heading to, but away from Canada, towards Asia.

Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with white Canadians who were all seniors of pensionable age. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Asia so as to be able to return to Canada as illegal immigrants, and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian pensioners. The Navy it is believed gave them food, water and assisted them on their journey.

 We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to come.
 
REMEMBER YOU HAVE TO BE OVER 65 !

Hope you liked it.

Roy.

Worried About Islam – You Should Be!

Posted in Afghanistan, Arab, Britain, Equality, Europe, Human Rights, Islamic Revolution, Muslim, News, Religion with tags , , , , on 30/10/2014 by floroy1942

Someone just sent me an e-mail about the changes in the Muslim world over the past fifty years, and it is an eye-opener. It features photo’s about the changes that have come about regarding women in the Muslim world, and identifies clearly their increased subjugation over the last fifty years. See what you think.

In Iran under the Shah in 1970 life was good for all concerned, especially the women as you see here:

ATT00000

 

Then came the Islamic revolution, and look at it today!

images

Makes you think doesn’t it! Much the same has happened in Afghanistan as you can see here with a photo dated sometime in 1967 and then today.

Afghanistan

And now today:

Today

Egypt is known as a secular nation today, but the changes in the woman’s dress code has had its influence here too. This first picture was taken in 1959.

1959

But today:

2012

However, if you consider this is only restricted to Arab countries you would be wrong. Take a look at Holland in 1980 and now:

1980

And now today:

ATT00001

Life for the women of Islam has changed drastically over the last fifty years as the strict Muslim code for women has been enforced by Muslim men. Even those living in western countries have seen the domination of the Muslim male strangle their freedoms. It is in my view a crime that the freedoms enjoyed by these people fifty years ago have been snuffed out like a candle, and they are now forced to live as little more than slaves to their male masters.

The sad thing is, unless the people of the west wake up and take note of what is going on in our own backyard, this will in years to come apply to us as well.

Roy.

In Canada Is It ‘Hello’ Or ‘Bonjour’?

Posted in America, Canada, Equality, Free Speech, Government, Human Rights, Justice, Modern World, News with tags , , , , on 30/10/2014 by floroy1942

Some people are looking for any excuse to make money through compensation claims these days, but this is one of the worst. Canada as we all know is a duel language country, i.e. English and French, and as you would expect, most people speak both. However, one French speaker and his wife actually sued Air Canada because flight attendants did not speak to them in French.

Compensation Clown

Compensation Clown

Michel and Lynda Thibodeau took Air Canada to court claiming damages because the crew did not respect their right to be served food and drink in their mother tongue i.e. French. I mean really, this is so bizarre as to be comical. Although both were fluent in English, Mr Thibodeau said the airline employees were: “malicious, oppressive and reprehensible” just because they did not speak to them in French. They also claimed staff spoke to them in English while they were booking in.

Air CanadaThey took the airline to court and were initially awarded £8,000 in damages under Canada’s Official Languages Act. But the story does not end there.

Flight Crew

Flight Crew

The airline appealed the decision in the Canadian Supreme Court and won. The judge ordered that the airline must officially apologise to the couple and did not have to pay the compensation.

An Ottowa Bus Driver

An Ottowa Bus Driver

The Thibodeau’s, described as French language ‘extremists’, have tried to get compensation on numerous occasions, one time against the Ottawa Bus Company when a bus driver greeted them with ‘Hello’ instead of ‘Bonjour’ when they boarded a bus.

It seems to me that if they want to be spoken to in French all day every day perhaps they should move to France. I wonder if they would sue an English speaking tourist who asked them the way to the Louvre?

Roy.

Work Fails!

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, Europe, Modern World, News, UK, USA with tags , on 26/10/2014 by floroy1942

We all know there are idiots around, I mean really, you only have to look around you!

Traffic LIghts

Stacking

Enter

Barrier

Spoons?

Rail

Handrail

Carton

Toilet

Wanted

Sauce

Drawer

Stop

Video

Medal

T Shirt

Phone

Handle

Box

The only excuse I can think of is these guys must have been in a hurry.

Roy.

Time For A Giggle

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, Europe, Germany, News, UK, USA with tags , , , on 26/10/2014 by floroy1942

Laugh and the world laughs with you, so I hope you enjoy this little offering.

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was upset.
‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!’

The husband replied, ‘Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’

‘Go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’

So the husband began — ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.
So, in my compass ion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.’

The husband took a quick breath and continued – ‘She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please ….. Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?

Who the hell is Eric ?

 

Poor Eric

Poor Eric

Well, Eric is the geezer who got home late one night: Joy his wife was waiting for him with ………”Where the hell have you been?”

Eric replies “I was getting a tattoo!”

“A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?”

“I got a hundred quid note tattooed on my willy” he said proudly.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disgust. “Why on earth would a Chief Executive get a hundred quid note tattooed on his willy?”

“Well…One, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand..

And lastly…  Instead of you going out shopping all the time, now you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred quid any time you want!!”

Eric is presently in the Critical Care Unit. I’m afraid no visitors are allowed until further notice!

URGENT !

Whoever  left  his  wife  at my  place  after last  night’s  BBQ is  asked to  come and get  her  ASAP.

It  is   not  that  she’s a  problem, but  mine is  coming  back  tonight.

Cheers,

Out Cold

Whatever you do, Keep smiling!

Roy.

Is It Really Possible To Live On Mars?

Posted in America, Environment, Health, Insanity, Life in the Universe, Modern World, News, Space, Travel, USA with tags , , , , on 25/10/2014 by floroy1942
Going To Mars

Going To Mars?

I have read with some interest the reports on sending people to live on Mars, and the experiments currently taking place in Hawaii. Although I am not a scientist, it makes me wonder if we are not going too far. The idea that six people could live a sustained life on the Red Planet for many years seems just a bit too ambitious.

Mars Habitat Trial In Hawaii

Mars Habitat Trial In Hawaii

Consider what it would be like. You live in a small habitat (1,000 sq.ft.) with five other people with basically no-where to go. No bars, cinema’s, local shops, parks or even family. You can go outside but only when wearing a spacesuit, and once you get outside what can you do, basically nothing except go for a stroll. In the first few months there will be all sorts of experiments to keep you busy, but when they are finished, what then? You are doomed to spend the rest of your life on this planet because you can’t get back to Earth. I think the average person would go crazy after a few months of this.

Inside The Dome

Inside The Dome

The current experiments in Hawaii are looking at how people will react to one another when cooped up in a single habitat with nowhere else to go. So far there have been two missions of four months each, and two more are planned, one of eight months and one of a year. These experiments will give a good idea of how people react to each other in a small space over a given period.

Cosmic Rays - Earth Is Protected By Its Magnetic Field

Cosmic Rays – Earth Is Protected By Its Magnetic Field

The first challenge will be to get there and still be in sufficient good health to be able to build your habitat. Experience has already shown that prolonged exposure to cosmic radiation, which is everywhere in space, is detrimental to health. NASA has already learnt this from I.S.S. astronauts who stayed on the space station for prolonged periods. Experts consider the longest time a man can be in space is 400 days, and for a woman it is less at 320 days. The strength of cosmic rays is determined by the sun which goes through periods of high and low activity. The more activity the less the rays will penetrate our solar system. The time taken to reach Mars is anything from 131 to 225 days depending on the orbits of Earth and Mars.

So this begs the question, what affects will the cosmic radiation have on the Mars astronauts? Prolonged exposure to cosmic rays will cause radiation sickness and cancer. Will they be fit enough to get out of their capsule and begin building their habitat, or will they even survive long enough to get there? All questions no-one seems to have an answer for.

Let us presume they make it to the landing site, for then comes the next big challenge i.e. building their home. In a Mars atmosphere this could take weeks, and in the meantime they will have to live in their capsule or ship. One would presume that earlier spacecraft had been sent to the planet stuffed with building parts, tools and of course food and water. One can only hope that the craft carrying them will land near enough to those supplies. Imagine if something goes wrong and they land perhaps ten or a hundred earth miles from the supply craft. That could be a disaster. The one thing never to be forgotten is that with any plan, something can always go wrong.

Oxygen Scrubber As Used In Submarines

Oxygen Scrubber As Used In Submarines

Given that everything goes to plan, the habitat is built and they move inside, what then? They are forced to rely on man-made equipment that must keep them alive until either they die of radiation sickness and cancer, old age, or just maybe space science makes sufficient advances to bring them back in maybe ten or twenty years. So far as the habitat is concerned, they will have to rely on oxygen scrubbers to provide them with this necessity and they do work for long periods, like in submarines, but would they last for years on end? Everything has a life when it eventually wears out or something breaks.  Any breakdown in the oxygen system would be catastrophic, for the repair shop is not just around the corner.

ISS Meal - Yummy!

ISS Meal – Yummy!

The next thing that comes to mind is food. Current plans showing the proposed housing unit does not seem to show any space for plants. If that is the case then growing their own vegetables is out of the question. The inhabitants may have to rely on so-called space rations like they use in the space station. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life eating goo from a plastic bag. Can you?

ISS Supplies En Route

ISS Supplies En Route

People living on Mars will also require regular supply rockets in order to keep them alive. Anything can interrupt this which would condemn these people to die. A rocket failure, a tracking failure, even an economic crisis that would prevent such an expensive endeavour, for expensive it would be.

Launch Failure

Launch Failure

Allowing for the twenty four minute delay in radio transmissions to Mars, I can imagine the faces of the Mars crew to hear that their next supply ship has crashed on the launchpad. I for one would certainly not volunteer for something like this and I don’t think any sane person would. There are many experts who are of the opinion that this project is impossible from a practical viewpoint and it may be cancelled, but we will have to wait and see.

Moon Landing

Moon Landing

There is a saying; “Don’t run before you can walk”, which seems to aptly describe this current endeavour. It would make more sense to try this on the moon before attempting to put people on Mars. At least it doesn’t take ten months for anything to get there, communication is much better and it would not be as expensive. Most important though, is that it would be possible to retrieve people if the whole experiment went wrong. Perhaps someone should give this some thought.

Roy.

Having A Bad Day? This Will Cheer You Up!

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, Canada, Europe, Modern World, News, Spain, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 23/10/2014 by floroy1942

Feeling stressed? Then you need to unwind and let it all go. I hope the following will help and make your day just that little bit better.

Cartoon

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, “Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”

The doctor smiled and said, “Have you tried to give him Viagra?” The lady frowned. “Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.

“Well,” the doctor continued, “Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.” The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor’s office quickly.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

“How did it go?” the doctor asked. “Terrible, doctor, terrible” the old lady replied.

“Did it not work?” said the doctor.

“Yes,” the old lady said, “It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.” “Then what is the problem, ma’am?” the doctor asked.

“Well,” she said. “I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.”

Cartoon

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

Cartoon

Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose. They managed to bag six. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.

The two lads objected strongly. “Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.” Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off.

However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down. Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, “Any idea where we are?” Mick looked around him: “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.”

Cartoon

A guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: “How much is the coffee?” “Coffee is four dollars” the waitress says. “How much is a refill?” the man asks. “Free,” says the waitress. “Then I’ll take a refill!” the man responds.

Have a nice Day!

Roy.

Foreign Criminals Cost Us £850 Million

Posted in Britain, David Cameron, European Union, Government, Human Rights, Immigrants, Justice, News, Politics, UK with tags , , , , on 22/10/2014 by floroy1942
Imprisoned - But Now What?

Imprisoned – But Now What?

We all know that when Tony Blair welcomed five and a half million immigrants into our country he didn’t do us any favours, but he also let in a lot of criminals. Apart from the load having to be carried by the Benefits System, NHS and housing, these criminals are now costing the British tax payer £850 million a year that could be better spent helping our own.

UK Migration

UK Migration

Those that are caught can be sent to prison, but the fact is, once they have served their term the authorities have enormous difficulty in deporting them. Because of the ridiculous restraints placed on our Justice System by the E.U. in Brussels we cannot send them back where they came from. Literally thousands of immigrant career criminals remain in the U.K. simply because we cannot deport them.

Gay(?) Killer Avoids Deportation

Gay(?) Killer Avoids Deportation

Our Justice System has become so lax that one foreign convict in six ducks under the radar and cannot be found. Of the rest, it’s the same old story, appeal after appeal. The U.K. currently has 4,200 foreign criminals living within communities, and thousands of offenders are setting up home in this country instead of being deported.

The Cost Of Immigrants

The Cost Of Immigrants

Since 2006 the number of foreign prisoners has risen by 4% while the number of deportations has fallen. Because of all the appeals, it takes almost ten years to deport a convicted criminal from our shores. That’s almost as long as it took to get rid of Abu Qatada and Abu Hamsa. This is clearly ridiculous!

James Brokenshire

James Brokenshire

James Brokenshire, the Immigration and Security Minister has reportedly said: “The countless appeals and re-appeals lodged by criminals attempting to cheat the system cost us all money and are an affront to British justice. Too little progress has been made, despite the increased resources and effort devoted to this problem.”

Immigration Act 2014

Immigration Act 2014

However, changes are being made to the Immigration Act that will hopefully make the system easier. James Brokenshire said during the interview: “New powers came into force this week to cut the number of grounds on which criminals can appeal their deportation and to end the appeals conveyor belt in the courts. The Immigration Act will help us deliver an immigration system that is fair to the people of this country and legitimate immigrants and tough on those who flout the rules.” All I can say is let’s hope so!

This appeal farce has been going on far too long and it is well past time we toughened up the system so these people cannot slip through the net. Our entire Justice System has become a mockery, where just sentences cannot be handed out because we might trample on someone’s human rights!

Whitehall

Whitehall

But there is another reason for this failure. Government auditors found almost 1,500 failed removals, and of those a third might have been avoided if there had been fewer administrative errors, and better co-ordination between different government departments. It is a sad fact that only one in every 25 files sent to the Home Office to start the process for removal had the right identity documents. It would seem the Tory Party and David Cameron just cannot get their hands around this problem and deal with it effectively.

The Law and Human Rights

The Law and Human Rights

It is without doubt time we got rid of the Human Rights Laws as dictated by Brussels and went back to the tried and tested system of British Justice as it was before all this E.U. nonsense. The right to appeal should of course be given, but then it should be restricted to three times within a maximum of three months and no more. This current system of repeating appeals for years and years until you get what you want is ridiculous. In that way, these parasites can be gone after three months and it will hopefully serve as a warning to the rest.

Sham Marriage To Avoid Deportation

Sham Marriage To Avoid Deportation

Some of the more ridiculous successes in avoiding deportation I have reported on before, usually involving Clause 8 of the Human Rights Act: The Right to Family Life. As has happened, many immigrant criminals have abused this Act by marrying a British girl, which means they cannot be deported under this Statute. So far as I am concerned, He should still go and his wife can choose to go with him or not.

Why should this country be home to foreigners who cannot live within the law, we have more than enough of our own!

Roy.

Insurance Number Quotas – Cameron Got It Wrong!

Posted in Britain, Budget Cuts, Children, David Cameron, European Union, Government Spending, Immigration, MP's, News, UK with tags , , , , on 20/10/2014 by floroy1942
A Disillusioned Man

A Disillusioned Man

David Cameron is once again in the news because of his new plan to make cuts in European migrants who come to Britain for work. But once again the silly man got it wrong! Jose Manuel Barroso has castigated him saying that free movement of European citizens is essential to the workings of the European Union (E.U.), and such a move would be against E.U. Laws.

UK National Insurance Card

UK National Insurance Card

Cameron’s idea is to place a limit on the number of new National Insurance Numbers given out to migrants, which should mean those without one cannot be legally employed. He is planning to give out only 100,000 per year, which according to him will restrict the flow of migrants to that number. He envisages only giving a temporary insurance number which would stop them from moving to Britain to work and claim benefits indefinitely. As the saying goes: “In yer dreams Pal!”

Migrant Workers Favoured For This Work

Migrant Workers Favoured For This Work

Such a tactic may help somewhat, but it will not put much of a damper on the numbers. Many will work without one because there are too many employers who will give them a job ‘on the black’ in order to save labour costs. As Mr. Barroso has stated, such a plan would cause great upheaval and problems within the E.U. for Great Britain and will, I am sure, founder on the rocks.

No Mr. Cameron, you are definitely on the wrong track! If you want to cut down on the number of immigrants coming to our shores there is only one way to do it: Stop giving them free benefits, housing and health care!

Just take a look at two random E.U. countries and see how they compare to the U.K.

DENMARK

Health care – Free, available immediately

Child benefit – Up to £161 a month available after 12 months

Unemployment benefit – Minimum of one year’s work required to qualify

Housing benefit – No equivalent scheme

HOLLAND

Health care – Only available with a certificate proving entitlement

Child benefit – Immediate payment of £943 per year

Unemployment benefit – Six-month qualifying period

Housing benefit – Means tested, available immediately

The E.U. Migrant Flow Into The U.K.

The E.U. Migrant Flow Into The U.K.

UNITED KINGDOM

Health care – Available immediately and free of charge under the National Health Service

Child benefit – Paid immediately if the child is under 16, or 16 to 19 and in education or training, and the claimant has an individual income of less than £50,000. Amount is £20.30 a week (£1,055 per annum) for the eldest or only child, £13.40 (£696 per annum) per additional child.

Unemployment benefit – Immediate payment of £71.70 (£3,728 per annum,) a week in Jobseeker’s Allowance (JSA) after proving ‘you are actively seeking work’. EU migrants have to pass the “right-to-reside” test to show they are “economically active”. The European Commission wants to abolish this test. There is also contribution-based additional JSA which is only available after working for at least two years.

Housing benefit – Available immediately if you are on a low income, whether you are working or unemployed. How much depends on individual circumstances, but amount cannot normally exceed £250 per week (£3,000 per annum) for a one-bedroom property, or up to £400 a week (£4,800 per annum) for four bedrooms or more.

Migrants Looking For Casual (None Registered) Work

Migrants Looking For Casual (None Registered) Work

Britain should be like other European countries, where, if you are not working, you get very limited benefits until you have been in the country, and worked long enough to earn them! This should apply to every immigrant, whether he or she is from within the E.U. or not. Over the years it has become clear that many of the immigrants coming to our shores do so for one thing,  free handouts.

Immigration Figures 2014

The Biggest Problem Is Self Evident!

It is true that many E.U. migrants do come here to find work, and many do so quickly, but they all get benefits and free health insurance and treatment from the NHS, and we all know what a mess that is in. So far as the non-E.U. migrants are concerned, all they want are the benefits, free housing and health care.

Someone Tells It Like It Is!

Someone Tells It Like It Is!

If all those wishing to come to this country are told they will get no benefits, free housing or health care for at least a year, the flow will rapidly decrease, especially among the non-E.U. migrants.

I think Mr, Cameron, you will have much more success with this plan than yours!

Roy.

Rebuilding Gaza – Again!

Posted in America, Britain, England, European Union, Gaza and Hamas, Iran, Israel, News, Palestine, Terrorism with tags , , , , on 17/10/2014 by floroy1942

Once again many nations are talking about donations to rebuild Gaza after the last few months of their war with Israel. So far around $5.7 billion has been raised by donations from countries like the USA, Britain, Qatar, Kuwait, Turkey, the United Arab Emirates and many others. It is well known that countries are very quick to promise large donations in time of need, but sadly many do not fulfil their promises.

Leaders Gather To Discuss Donations For Rebuilding Gaza

Leaders Gather To Discuss Donations For Rebuilding Gaza

But the main concern of everyone is that after the rebuilding programme is completed at some date in the future, Hamas will once again provoke Israel into retaliatory action, and more damage will be caused. Following the 2008 and 2012 confrontations, this is the third time donations have been made to restore Gaza’s infrastructure.

Hamas Missile Ranges in Israel

Hamas Missile Ranges in Israel

The problem is that Hamas will not accept Israel as a nation, and attack when they have built up sufficient resources. This last spat was also the fault of Hamas who began attacking Israel with rockets fired from within Gaza, and what else would anyone expect Israel to do in such circumstances but retaliate. Who would accept rockets raining down on their towns and cities and do nothing about it? You? I doubt it!

How The World Sees The Situation

How The World Sees The Situation

Their strategy has always been the same, provoke Israeli retaliation and then use the calculated deaths among the civilian population to gain world sympathy for their cause. The sad thing is, people are so gullible as to believe the lies they spread, and Israel gets all the blame.

Hamas Civilian Shields

Hamas Civilian Shields

Hamas Launch Sites In Populated Area

Hamas Launch Sites In Populated Area

It is true the damage to Gaza has been severe and the casualties among the population high, but then you have to ask why? The simple answer is the tactic of Hamas to fire their rockets from the middle of built-up areas, by schools and hospitals.

Different Part Of Town, Same Picture.

Different Part Of Town, Same Picture.

Aerial photo’s have proven this to be true so no-one can dispute this fact. It is true the Israeli counter-attacks have caused a lot of damage to the infrastructure of Gaza which must be repaired, but so long as Hamas is in existence there will be no end to the fighting, and it will erupt again in the future unless an agreement is signed.

Self Explanatory.

Self Explanatory.

The big problem for the current donors is, what happens to the money when it is handed over? It is well known that the Hamas leaders are all billionaires, and when you consider they all started with nothing when they stopped being a terrorist organization and became the government of Gaza, it must make you wonder where all the donations went. On top of that, for years supplies of cement and other building materials have been donated to Gaza but most of it was diverted into building the myriad of tunnels Hamas used in this last attack, and for smuggling arms into Gaza.

So Where Did All The Concrete And Wiring Come From - Take A Guess!

So Where Did All The Concrete And Wiring Come From – Take A Guess!

All of them were lined with with concrete, and had electric lights with tracks for trolley’s for moving equipment. The Israeli soldiers, and international observers, were quite surprised at the sophistication of the ones they found. It was estimated at the time that each one would have cost around $1 million to build, so you have to ask, where did the money come from?

Iran Attempts Arms Smuggling

Iran Attempts Arms Smuggling To Gaza

Well, considering the financial state of Gaza there can be only once answer, the international rebuilding donations! This money, handed over in good faith for rebuilding the infrastructure of Gaza for the people was siphoned off for the Hamas war effort, and to make its leaders ultra-rich! Hamas had managed to acquire over one thousand rockets for this last confrontation with Israel, and you should ask how they got them.

Smuggling Tunnels From Egypt

Smuggling Tunnels From Egypt

It is clear they were smuggled in through the many tunnels that exist on the border with Egypt. It is not hard to suppose they were provided by Iran who has always been a close ally of Hamas. It is true that Hamas manufactured many crude rockets themselves, but they still needed the parts to make them.

Hamas Kills Their Own People

Hamas Kills Their Own People

These ‘home made’ rockets fired by Hamas were of poor quality. Many failed and actually landed in Gaza killing many of their own people, but they still blamed the Israeli’s.

Hamas Training Children

Hamas Training Children

So far as a new outbreak of violence is concerned, we will have to wait until Hamas has spent the donations meant for the people on acquiring new arms and stockpiling them until they have enough.

So the sad truth is, all the attacks on Israel in the past have been financed by western nations making donations to ease the plight of the Palestinian people, and that is apart from making the leaders of Hamas multi-billionaires. Makes you think doesn’t it!

Roy.

Something To Brighten Your Day

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, Canada, England, Europe, Germany, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 16/10/2014 by floroy1942

If you are having a dull day, then this is just the tonic you need! Like many people I guess, I too get jokes sent to me through the e-mail so I thought I would share some with you.

The Three Wishes.

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Next, there’s a knock at the door, so he answers it! Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he’s dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods. It’s the two blonde genies! One blonde genie says to the other, “I can understand the first wish–having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.”

A Driver’s Best Friend?

I have a little Satnav; it sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver’s friend; it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav; I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
“It’s sixty k’s an hour”, it says, “You’re doing sixty-five”.
It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never ever, safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear
And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.
I’m sure no other driver, has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.

Naughty, Naughty!

I asked my mam for something to wear and something to play with for Christmas when I was little.

She bought me a pair of pants and cut the pockets out.

Dear Justin Bieber Haters.

Despite his arrest, I still owe my life to Justin. On March 2009 I was in a coma for six months after a car crash. One day my nurse turned on the radio and Justin Biebers music was playing, so I got up and turned it off.

The Best Of British?

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East .Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured. Iraq , Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don’t know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.

The USA is sending troops to help keep the peace.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Latin American countries are sending clothing.

New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian countries are sending labour to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.

Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.

GREAT BRITAIN, not to be outdone is sending two million replacement Muslims.

God Bless GREAT BRITAIN, damn those Brits are smart!!

In The Courtroom.

How do Court Recorders keep straight faces when have to record the following. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

That’s all for today, but I hope it was enough to brighten an otherwise dull day.

Roy.

Barbaric Atrocities And Yet The World Does Nothing! (Graphic)

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, Canada, Islamic Revolution, News, Obama, Politics, Terrorism, United Nations with tags , , , , on 14/10/2014 by floroy1942

Sometimes I despair at humanity today. Have we become so insular that we care for nothing unless it actually affects us personally? The battle against Muslim extremists has been going on for more than ten years, and things are now reaching a stage of such barbarity the like of which hasn’t been seen for close on five hundred years. I refer of course to the I.S. killers in Syria and Iraq.

Kobani Citizens Flee The Terror By Crossing Into Turkey

Kobani Citizens Flee The Terror By Crossing Into Turkey

Not long ago we had the public spectacle of the beheading of three innocent westerners shown live on TV across the world while their executioner gloated. Since that time the fighting in the Syrian border town of Kobani has been in the headlines with all its horrors.

I.S. Fighters Parade

I.S. Fighters Parade

The story of one Kobani resident who managed to flee across the border into Turkey is spine-chilling. The story comes from a thirteen-year-old boy who tried to flee across the border with his brother. He managed to slip through but his 20 year-old brother was captured by insurgents. As he ran he heard behind him “Blood-curdling” screams from his brother just before his head was cut off. The moment stays with him and he will never be able to forget it. He said, “They pushed him to the ground and sawed his head off, shouting ‘Allahu Akbar. I see it in my dreams every night and every morning I wake up and remember everything.”

On Display

On Display

Others who have escaped tell much the same story. Amin Fajar, a man with four children said, “I have seen tens, maybe hundreds, of bodies with their heads cut off. Others with just their hands or legs missing. I have seen faces with their eyes or tongues cut out – I can never forget it for as long as I live. They put the heads on display to scare us all.” After a pause he said, “The children saw the headless people. They saw them. My neighbour was beheaded because they said he was ‘delivering vegetables to the kaffir’. They burned his farm, livestock, even his bees – they destroyed everything.”

The horrible thing about the whole episode, is that according to witnesses, most of these terrible acts were carried out by European jihadists. Some were heard speaking English, while others were Chechen and other European nationalities.

I.S. In Syria

I.S. In Syria

In another harrowing tale Ahmed Bakki, who had a farm in a village near Kobane, said his cousin, a 48-year-old father of seven, stayed behind when the rest of the family fled. “We phoned my cousin and I.S. answered his phone. They said, ‘We’ve got his head, and we’re taking it to Jarabulus (an IS stronghold).” He added: “An English teacher in our village tried to reason with them, but they just called him a kaffir (non-believer) and tied him to their car and dragged him away. We heard they beheaded him later.”

Such are the atrocities currently being waged on civilians in and around Kobani. Those who cannot get away fear a massacre of epic proportions if I.S. takes over the town completely.

The U.N. Charter

The U.N. Charter

So the big question is: What is the rest of the world, with the exception of a very few nations, doing about it? Well, the short answer is:- Nothing! The greater majority of world countries, and in particular the United Nations, are quite prepared to sit on their collective hands and take no action to stop this atrocity. I don’t know about you, but I find that appalling.

NATO Participating Nations

NATO Participating Nations

The only action taken against this murdering band of cut-throats has been initiated by some NATO member countries on the initiative of President Obama of the USA. America, Britain, France and Denmark among others, along with the Arab States of Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates have all taken up arms against these monsters. Now even Australia has joined the coalition against these people. All NATO actions are restricted to bombing I.S. positions only but that is at least something.

But what of the rest of the world, and in particular the United Nations whose charter includes solving such situations. Apart from verbally ‘condemning’ the atrocities, the U.N. has done precisely nothing.

What The U.N. Is Currently About!

What The U.N. Is Currently About!

If this body functioned as it is supposed to do, it would be raising an international army to wipe these terrorists off the face of the earth. The only time this has been done effectively was in Korea in the 1950’s, and it worked. The old saying is true: “If you want world peace, you have to fight for it!”

Saudi Tornado Fighter

Saudi Tornado Fighter

Anyone who thinks this is not possible may quote the Arab reaction to such a move which may or may not be positive. In that case it is the responsibility of the U.N. to persuade the Arab nations that it is for a good cause. We already have five of them fighting alongside the western nations in Iraq and Syria and I believe it is because they do not want to see a terrorist state on their doorstep. The divide between Sunni’s and Shiites is great in some countries, and most Middle East nations realize that if I.S. end up dominating Iraq and Syria they will not stop there.

The Shia/Sunni Divide

The Shiite/Sunni Divide

Taliban

Taliban

I am convinced that all the trouble in the Middle East is the work of insurgents who infiltrated countries and started trouble. This is certainly true of Afghanistan and Iraq. Other Shiia controlled nations fear the spread of the Sunni I.S. into their own countries once they have consolidated their position in Iraq and Syria. I think they are right.

For the U.N. to convince these nations that their own survival rests on the defeat of I.S. should therefore not be too difficult. Once the Arab nations are on board other countries should be asked to contribute to an armed force that will enter both countries and put an end to I.S.

The problem of Syria is of course different, because that is really an internal problem and can perhaps only be solved by forcing the two sides to the negotiating table.

Boko Haram

Boko Haram

Terrorism is currently a world-wide problem with insurgents fighting in many countries across the world. In this too the United Nations should be taking a lead role in defeating them once and for all. Boko Haram and al Shabab are still active in Africa, the Taliban are still fighting in Afghanistan and in the Far East there are many groups active. Terrorism has become the main danger in the 21st century and unless it is stopped once and for all it will never end.

This means that unless everybody joins together to stamp out this curse the disease will spread until not a nation on Earth is safe. These people have but one goal, and that is to see the world become Islamic, and they will continue until either this is achieved, or they are dead. I prefer the latter!

Roy.

 

 

 

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