Miserable Day? Let This Cheer You Up!

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 26/09/2016 by floroy1942

1

There’s a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They’re going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don’t work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don’t work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, “Don’t worry! There’s a stop sign ahead.”

2

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, “I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?” The husband replies, “First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!”

3

Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, “Mother, I’ve got a stomach ache.” “That’s because your stomach is empty,” the mother replied. “You would feel better if you had something in it.” That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up, “That’s because it’s empty,” she said. “You’d feel better if you had something in it.”

4

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets.” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”

5

An Amish husband, wife and son travel to the city on vacation. They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in awe in front of an elevator (having no idea what it is). As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the strange silver doors and the doors close. The father and son watch as the numbers go up, and then back down. When the doors open, a beautiful young woman walks out. The father leans over and whispers to the son, “Son, go get your mother!”

6

A fourth grade teacher asks the class, “Have any of you ever saved somebody’s life?” A little boy raises his hand, “Yes, my little nephew’s.” “Wow, what a little hero you are! How did you do that, sweetie?” asks the teacher. The little guy replies, “I hid my sister’s birth control pills!”

7

There were three women. a brown headed a brunette and a blonde. they were talking then they started talking about sex. The brown headed one said “I’m gonna have 3 baby’s”. The brunette said she was gonna have twins. And the blonde started crying and the other two women asked her what was wrong. And the blonde said she was gonna have baby dogs because she had sex doggy style!

8

An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”

9

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & shags all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, “You horny bastard, you deserve this.” The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, “Shh! Don’t shout, let them land!”

10

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

11

A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God,” and for it to stop you say, “Amen.” So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Just in time, he shouted “Amen!” and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. “Whew,” said the man, “thank God!”

12

How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called a wedding cake.

Q: When can women make you a millionaire? A: When you’re a billionaire.

13

A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady. “Hello there and what is your name?” “Hello,” giggles the woman, “I’m Stacey. What’s yours?” “I’m Jim.” “Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?” “Sure!” replies Jim. “Let’s go!” At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey’s desk and asks, “Is this your brother?” “No, it isn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles. “Is it your husband?” Stacey giggles even more, “No, silly!” “Then, it must be your boyfriend!” Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim’s ear. She says, “No, silly!” “Then, who is it?” Stacey replies, “That’s me before my operation!”

I hope you had fun. ‘Til next time

Roy.

Say Goodbye To Elephants and Rhinoceros

Posted in America, Britain, Conservation, Environment, European Union, Nature, News, Torture, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 25/09/2016 by floroy1942

The fact that we are destroying our world is becoming more and more evident, and I don’t mean the atmospheric, land and ocean pollution. From reports out today it would seem that we are destroying the world’s animals too at an ever increasing rate.

The Decline In The Elephant Population

The Decline In The Elephant Population

In particular I am writing about elephants and rhinoceros in Africa where 30% have been destroyed in the last seven years. If this keeps up, in 15 years time there will be none left, and like so many other species, they will disappear into history.

Whatever you like to think about this, mankind is the most destructive force on the planet, and taking that into consideration the planet will not survive must longer, or at least we won’t.

Poachers At Work

Poachers At Work

These animals are killed for their horns which some Far Eastern countries like China, Indonesia and Vietnam, believe can be made into a miracle cure for all sorts of diseases. How they arrived at this conclusion is beyond me, for none of it is true and science has proved it. When you take it down to the bare bones, its all about profit and making money.

Walking through the tourist areas of Far Eastern cities you find sculptures carved from the horns of elephants and rhino’s, all to attract sales from the gullible tourists. Buying such things just assists the destruction of these wild animals.

We have lost 42 species of animals and birds in just the 20th century, including the Barbary Lion, various species of tiger, the Kamchatka bear, Dawson’s caribou, the Greenland reindeer plus a host of birds and insects. They are all gone never to return.

Some people call this progress, but the tragic reality is that we are destroying our world at an ever-increasing pace. The sad thing is, nobody cares. I am in my latter years, but nobody thinks about what our children and their children will face with the legacy we are leaving them.

A Rhino De-Horned But Left Alive

A Rhino De-Horned But Left Alive

One by one the animals and birds of the world are disappearing and the rate has increased ten-fold in the last 100 years. Not only that, but we are poisoning our atmosphere, the ground, and the oceans at an ever increasing rate. What does that say for the future of this planet and our children?

Billed as the largest gathering in the 43-year history of the convention, the 17th Conference of the Parties will see more than 2,500 delegates from more than 180 countries come together in Johannesburg. What will they achieve? In my estimation, very little. We have had these talking shops so many times in the past, but all have achieved nothing on the grand scale of things.

In my opinion, the only way to put an end to this mindless shooting of elephants and rhino’s for profit is for all countries to make it a capital offence. When caught you will be hung.

An Ivory Carving

An Ivory Carving

The governments of the Far East must close down all these ‘doctors’ who prescribe ointments and such made from tusks and ensure they never practice again. All tourist shops selling items made from ivory should have their stock confiscated and destroyed.

I know many will think this is impossible, and it probably is, but we must do something to save these species of animals. Once all the elephants and rhino’s have disappeared what will these people turn to next? Your guess is as good as mine.

Roy.

A Wasteful Society

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, Conservation, England, Environment, European Union, Human Rights, Modern World, News with tags , , , , on 22/09/2016 by floroy1942

I could hardly believe what I read in the news today. Did you know that in Britain they literally throw away 10 million tonnes of food every year? I could hardly believe it when I read it,  for the figure seems impossible. It makes me wonder what the figure is in America and Canada, for they have much larger populations.

Spot The Difference

Spot The Difference

The average amount of good food that is thrown away by households in Britain is 260kg a year, and it makes me wonder why. With so many starving people in the world these figures are astounding.

One of the reasons is of course over production of food items in the country because of the great quest for profit. Secondly, it is the dates that producers put on their goods to show the maximum usage time for food which are not always accurate. Buying a loaf of bread would indicate that it must be eaten within, say three or four days, and then thrown away. It just means that after that period you need to go out and buy a new one – hence more profit for the bakery, the manufacturer and the farmer.

Much of our food will last way beyond the date that is stamped on it by the manufacturer, but many people don’t realize this, which leads to massive food waste.

A company in Britain has started gathering this food ‘waste’ and is providing a source of cheap food for those less well off. “The Real Junk Food Project”, started in Leeds, is gathering this so-called waste food from supermarkets, local businesses, restaurants and even allotments and selling it to the less well off.

The Real Junk Food Project

The Real Junk Food Project

People pay what they think the food is worth, not a fixed price, but can also work in the warehouse for the food they take with them. There can be little doubt that this company is a boon to those of us who are less well off.

But on the other hand, it is a disaster that so much food should be thrown away just because the expiry date has been exceeded.

As I mentioned before, all this food is being thrown away, while in many countries the people are starving to death. Of course it is not possible to ship this excess food to say Africa, but surely something can be done. Perhaps our farmers should be putting part of their fields aside to grow food that can be shipped to Africa and other starving nations.

Over-production is using up resources and killing the ground on which we grow our crops. In the end a large portion ends up in the rubbish bin. Why do we not scale back production to stop this drastic waste? No-one will consider that because it eats into their profits, and that is what its all about.

Roy.

British Liberals Are Crazy!

Posted in America, Britain, England, English Schools, Modern World, News, Political Correctness, Teens, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 18/09/2016 by floroy1942
Graduation

Graduation

I read an interesting article today about our university’s saying that a bunch of Liberals think that we should send even idiots to these places, and massage their exam results to make sure they pass all their exams.

A student who complained about her poor marks for an essay said she had a statement of Special Educational Needs. The teacher was hauled before the university authorities to explain why he had marked her so low. ‘Because it was awful work, the work of a cretin,’ he replied. The teacher was chastised for not taking into account that the student had ‘special educational needs’.

So what this comes down to is that if we have someone with say, dyslexia or ADHD, which is ‘Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder’, then the teachers should make allowances for this condition and artificially boost the marks. If you fail an exam all you have to do is tell the teacher that you have either of these two conditions and he will bump up your marks so that you pass.

University’s are supposed to be for our brightest and most intelligent youth who will then go on the be leaders in various areas of industry, politics and science. It leads me to believe that these Liberals are stark raving mad, and if this continues then a university education will count for absolutely nothing.

It is easy to get one of these certificates from the Education Health and Care plan for a whole host of real or fictional disabilities, so you are assured of passing all your exams. From the information available, it seems middle-class parents have been desperately trying to get certificates proving that their brats are ‘dyslexic’ rather than stupid. Plenty of scientific evidence suggests that both dyslexia and its counterpart ADHD are now so over-diagnosed as to make both terms almost meaningless.

The Dunce Cap

The Dunce Cap

The liberals complain that kids who have an aptitude for examinations, intellectual thought or academic investigation should be sent to schools where these qualities are prized and nourished, and this includes university’s. Others, who have no such aptitude, should not be condemned to attend schools where there are rather fewer academic expectations.

Only our brightest students should have the right to attend university, but what they are doing now is opening the gates to even the dumb and thick who have no right to such an education with a medical excuse that will make sure they graduate. This will surely bring down the level of education for all.

These educational centres are supposed to be for the brightest of our youth and give them a chance to enter industry or science etc. and help the world progress, but these Liberals are undermining the future of our country. No longer will these areas be staffed by the brightest and best of our youth, but be dragged down until it all becomes meaningless.

All of this is an attempt to make everybody equal, but the effect will be to bring the whole country down until we become a nation of dunces. If a teacher has to spend a lot of time explaining certain things to those who are too thick to understand, then the more intelligent ones will be twiddling their thumbs for a while before the lesson can continue.

Exam Time

Exam Time

I cannot imagine what would happen to our country if all our scientists, entrepreneurs, politicians and future teachers are so dumb they cannot even add two and two. But if this plan goes ahead this is what we will become.

Gone will be the advances in computer technology, science and a hundred other areas where we are striving to make our world better. It will become normal for a university degree to be absolutely worthless, and many will suffer because of it.

Roy.

The School Debate

Posted in America, Britain, Child Discipline, Children, England, English Schools, European Union, News, Parenting, Teen Violence with tags , , , , on 15/09/2016 by floroy1942
Theresa May

Theresa May

It amazes me that so many people are up in arms about Theresa May wanting to reintroduce grammar schools. Why, what is wrong with these people? Years ago these schools were the backbone of higher education, excluding university’s of course, and they were there for the more gifted youngsters. They were a beacon for the more intelligent children who eventually got into our university’s.

Corbyn The Fool

Corbyn The Fool

From this system came our brightest scientists, industry entrepreneurs and politicians and many more. Since we no longer have proper grammar schools this has all but disappeared.

Eleven-plus Exam

Eleven-plus Exam

Britain still has 166 grammar schools but they are nothing like they used to be. We need more throughout Britain to give our children a choice in education, and an opportunity to increase their knowledge above that which is taught in secondary modern schools.

I have to say that our education system is currently a total failure, with poor teachers, classroom sizes far too big, and a total lack of discipline, all creating a generation of idiots for the most part. Naturally I do not include all children or teachers in this category. Compared to years ago, few of our children are bright enough to get to university. If we ever stopped foreign students from entering them most would close down for lack of pupils.

In Days Gone By

In Days Gone By

When I compare today’s education system with what it was like when I was a child I have to say that the entire system is a shambles. Teachers of my day knew their subject back to front and inside out. You asked a question and you got an immediate answer, whereas today many teachers must refer to the lesson material before giving an answer.

Street Thugs

Street Thugs

Discipline has gone out the window because the teacher is not allowed to take any action against an unruly pupil, except perhaps to send them out of the class. Long gone are the most effective methods of teaching a child discipline in class, and today, if any action is taken the parents will be hammering on the headmaster’s door complaining like hell. No, I’m afraid child discipline is a thing of the past, which is evident in the child and teenage thugs, thieves and killers we have in our society today. I do not blame the schools entirely for this because many parents do little to bring up their child properly.

We make no difference today between a gifted child and a fool with the current system and that is a shame. Gifted children should be given a good education to make the most of their talents in grammar schools, but they can’t currently have that when sharing a class with dunces, to use an old word.

Grammar Schools In England

Grammar Schools In England

Ever since Tony Blair had exams made easier so that he could show high pass rates  for kids the whole system has gone down the drain. Many teachers are no longer trained properly, have scant knowledge of their chosen subject and in my view are practically worthless.

If teachers were trained properly they would know their chosen subject inside out, and be able to answer any question from pupils without referring to their books. It worked years ago why not now? The answer to that is because the teachers are not trained properly, and often enter schools before they are fully qualified because of a shortage.

Could We See Another Albert Einstein?

Could We See Another Albert Einstein?

If Britain is to move forward in the current high-tech world, we have to start training our children to behave properly, learn properly and be a credit to society, not some lout always looking for a fight.

If the grammar school idea is put into practice, we have to ensure that teachers are properly qualified, and the most gifted children are allowed to attend. The 11-plus exam certainly separates the wheat from the chaff, and this is precisely what we need if this country is to move forward. We need to nurture our more brighter pupils into becoming our future leaders in science, industry and politics.

Roy.

Killing The Wilderness Will Kill Us All

Posted in America, Brazil, Britain, Conservation, Environment, Forests, Nature, News, Oceans, Plastic Rubbish with tags , , , , on 10/09/2016 by floroy1942
Deforestation

Deforestation

No! This is not some made up story, but in years to come it will come true. The areas of wilderness on Earth, i.e. areas of land like the Amazon in South America and Central Africa among others, are the lifeblood of our planet and yet we are destroying them at an ever-increasing rate.

The Amazon

The Amazon

Before 1970 the Amazon forest covered 4,100,000 sq.kms, but by 2015 it had shrunk to just 3,331,065 sq.kms. This means that mankind has destroyed 768,935  sq.kms (almost the size of Turkey) in just 39 years, reducing its size by 18.8%. Despite all the warnings about what this was doing to our ecological status, the destruction still goes on.

In 1950 the Indonesian forest cover was estimated to be 145 million ha of primary forest and another 14 million ha of secondary and tidal forest.  Between 1990 and 2000 20% of the forest area in Indonesia had been lost (24 million ha) and by 2010, only 52% of the total land area was forested (94 million ha).

According to the World Resources Institute, more than 80 percent of the Earth’s natural forests have already been destroyed world-wide. Up to 90 percent of West Africa’s coastal rain forests have disappeared since 1900. Brazil and Indonesia, which contain the world’s two largest surviving regions of rain forest, are being stripped at an alarming rate by logging, fires, and land-clearing for agriculture and cattle-grazing. And so the destruction of our live-giving forests goes on unabated, and no-one is doing anything to stop it.

Rain Forest Destruction

Rain Forest Destruction

What most people do not realize is that trees are the lifeblood of this planet, and without them we will all die very quickly because they are the number one provider of our most important essential – oxygen. But what the hell, profit is more important that life, right!

We all know that the pollution levels on our planet are steadily rising, what with CO2 pollution world-wide and the ever increasing contamination of the world seas and the ground but no-one seems to care.

Plastic Pollution

Plastic Pollution

Our oceans are steadily being heavily polluted with plastic among other things which is causing untold problems. We have huge areas of every ocean on the planet where plastic is collecting on the surface called plastic gyers.

For more information you might perhaps  want to read:

https://floroy1942.wordpress.com/2010/02/26/welcome-to-plastic-island/

Ocean Life Destruction

Ocean Life Destruction

Another problem with the oceans is over-fishing. Where forty years ago a fishing boat would capture maybe a ton of fish, now the giant fishing trawlers are capturing 100 tons of fish in a single catch, and it doesn’t end there.

Not only are we destroying the seas, but also the land on which we grow the crops that feed us. For the last forty years we have increased farming production to the extent where the ground does not have the ability to recover. For this reason we are using chemicals to help make the crops grow, and this is polluting the earth. Not only that, but it gets into our streams and flows into rivers where it ends up in the sea.

Years ago when I was young a farmer would always leave one field without crops for an entire year so that it could recover the minerals that help our crops grow. Now that is all out the window as everyone wants to make more and more profit.

The seas and the ground are important to us, but we are also fouling the air that we breath. From the turn of the century, when there were probably no more than a few hundred thousand vehicles on our roads it has risen to over a billion, and each one is pumping out poisonous gasses that are contaminating our atmosphere. It is well known that the levels of CO2 in our atmosphere are causing problems world-wide. The loss of forests and woods across the world means that nature has totally lost control, and can no longer rectify this problem.

Smog In The Far East

Smog In The Far East

In some Far Eastern cities people have to walk around with a mask to prevent the minute particles from vehicle exhausts getting into their lungs. Western nations have also had their share. The effect this has had on the human population is evident in the increased number of cancer deaths.

Most people will have heard about the disastrous droughts in places like California, parts of Africa and even Europe where there has been no rainfall for many months. This has had a catastrophic effect for farmers, many of whom have gone bankrupt. And yet, more areas are suffering hurricanes in places where this is unheard of in the past, like Britain for example. Our uncaring attitude to the world is causing disasters in places where such things are unheard of. If we continue as we are you can guarantee this will only get worse.

Centuries ago life on this planet was balanced because of the low levels of contamination we pumped into the seas, ground and air. But now with scientific progress all that has changed and we are slowly destroying our planet, and ourselves. If nothing changes within the next few decades mankind will be no more.

Roy.

A Message To Immigrants

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, Canada, England, European Union, Germany, Immigrants, News, UK with tags , , , on 06/09/2016 by floroy1942

Trust the Aussies to say how it really is. Worth watching, and a pointer to many European countries …… and America!

 

Roy.

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