Archive for Donald Trump

Time For A Laugh

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, Europe, Germany, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 06/05/2017 by floroy1942

A Kiwi emigrated to Oz and opened up a petrol station. To increase its sales he put up a sign saying, ‘Free Sex with Fill-Up.’ Soon a local, Bill, pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The Kiwi told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Bill then guessed 8, and the Kiwi said, ‘You were close’ the number was 7.  Sorry, no sex this time. A week later, Bill and his mate Bluey pulled in for a fill-up at the same station. Again Bill asked for his free sex. Again he got the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Bill guessed 2 this time. Again the Kiwi said, ‘Sorry, it was 4 ‘You were close’ but no free sex this time.’ As they were driving away, Bill said to his mate Bluey, ‘I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.’  Bluey replied, ‘No it ain’t Bill, it ain’t rigged – my missus won twice last week.

A very cute Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating shrimp. Every time he ate one, he deliberately spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to dodge or deflect it. He finished the box of shrimp and threw it out the window.  Seeing this, she’d had enough of his rudeness, lack of manners, and his total disdain of women. She got up and pulled the train’s Emergency Cord. The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid female, worthless Infidel, Catholic Bitch.” She smiled and said to him, “When I cry rape and they smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years in prison, you towel-headed Goat Shagger! 

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Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’ His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’ The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’ ‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked ‘Yes,’ he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’ The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’ The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’ After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

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You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B. Your blood-test results. C. Five tequila slammers!

You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that: A. Your partner climaxes first. B. You both climax  simultaneously. C. You don’t miss the Golf on Sky sports!

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me…. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office. He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.” Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?” She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.” With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked… “Then why did you eat him?”

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A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, “What are your three wishes?” The man replied, “Give me the shotgun and bullets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ….”

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Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest,” I’m Jesus Christ.” The Priest replies,” No son, you’re not!” So he says to the second,”I’m Jesus Christ.” He says,”No, son, you’re not.” The drunk says,” Look I can prove it.” He takes the two Priests into the bar. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says,” JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE HERE AGAIN!!!”

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A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. after a while they realise both of there wedding anniversaries are the next day. Poor man, “What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversary?” Rich man, “I got her a pink ferrari and a diamond ring.” Poor man, “What made you choose those gifts?” Rich man, “She loves fast cars and I wasnt sure about the ring so if she doesnt like it, she can take it back in her new car… ” The poor, “Man nodds in agreement.” Rich man, “What did you get your wife?” Poor man, “I got my wife a pair of cheap slippers and a dildo.” Rich man, “Why did you choose those gifts?” Poor man, ” Well if she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f**ck herself.”

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Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?” His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.” “Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!” “What do you mean?” said Dad. “Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!”

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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my privates inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his privates unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone 100 dollars who’s willing to give it a try.” A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up. “I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

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Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in appropriate parts and said to his dad, “I wish I could do that.” Jimmy’s dad looked down at Jimmy and said, “Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!!”

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A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night.” The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning.” The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try. When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face. As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet. Seeing her he screamed, “What the hell are you doing in here?!” “Quiet!”, she exclaimed. “You’ll wake my mother.”

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A blonde and brunette are having tea when suddenly the phone rings. The blonde picks it up and immediately starts crying. Her brunette friend asks her, “Why are you crying dear?” Blonde says, “Because my mom just called and said that my father just died. “I’m so sorry,” says the brunette. The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings again. She picks it up and starts crying again. The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the blonde replies, “My brother just called and said that his father died too.”

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I hope you had a laugh. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

 

 

What Will Trump’s Legacy Be?

Posted in America, Britain, European Union, Human Rights, Immigrants, Islamic State, News, People's Rights, President, Russia with tags , , , , on 31/01/2017 by floroy1942

President Trump has upset a lot of countries in his first two weeks in office, and we have yet to see how many more are in line. Judging by the number and size of demonstrations against him it seems he is currently the most hated president of all time in the States.

It’s true that he has made some unpopular decisions, like the Muslim immigrant ban and his determination to build a wall between Mexico and the United States and make Mexico pay for it. The burning question is, what else does he have up his sleeve. He is without doubt the most radical president the U.S. has ever had.

I would not be surprised if he ends up being assassinated if he continues on his current path, for there has never been such an unpopular president in all of America’s history. Despite all the millions of people around the world who are demonstrating against his decisions, he still holds fast on the presidential orders he has made.

What does this say for the future of the United States and his legacy? Well, if he carries on with these unpopular decisions he may not last four years and could end up being impeached by Congress.

In contrast, the American people are demonstrating in their millions against the decisions he has made, especially his immigration ban which has affected all Muslims living, or wanting to settle in the United States. Currently there are about 3.3 million Muslims living in the USA and many who wish to move there. Trump’s plan has stopped this and the numbers of those refused entry are growing day by day.

With the number of militants increasing daily, and the rising number of attacks in European countries, it would seem like a plausible idea to stop them entering, but they are a tiny fraction of those who wish to enter. The trouble is, how do you distinguish these radicals from innocent people.

Currently, all Muslims from Iraq, Syria, Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen are banned from entering the USA, which is due to the number of radicals that are fighting in these countries. But Trump’s new law goes further than this by banning all Muslims from entering the USA. There can be little doubt that this law cannot be sustained, for many are returning from abroad and live in America with families waiting for their return. How this turmoil will end is anyone’s guess, but for now it is making Trump the most hated leader in the world.

With the tensions between China and the U.S. over the South China Sea, and with the Russians, it is clear we are living in dangerous times, with the threat of nuclear war increasing as is evidenced by the world coming half a minute closer to annihilation according to the scientists. It would seem that once again the world is entering a period of major instability and someone like Trump is not helping to ease the tension.

I sincerely hope that this time of turmoil will pass and he calms down. He needs to improve international relations with the rest of the world and make efforts to ensure the people can live in hope once again. He needs to repair relations with foreign countries he has upset and move forward to making the world a place of peace once more. Given time, he may turn out to be a good president for the USA if he curbs his radical decisions. We have no choice but to wait and see how things turn out.

Roy.

So Trump Has Won – What Next?

Posted in America, Britain, Elections, England, European Union, Immigration, Islamic State, News, President, Russia with tags , , , , on 10/11/2016 by floroy1942

Against all the predictions Donald Trump has won the American election for President. So what now? There seems to be great unrest in America at the result, for many are not waiting to see what the man can do for America and demonstrate on the streets against him. Will he be a good President and solve many international and domestic problems or not. That is the question on many people’s lips at the moment.

Top of the agenda will be solving the tensions with Russia, but Putin has already said he is hopeful of  relieving the tensions that currently exist with Trump when he becomes President. That at least is a step in the right direction.

It will be interesting to see what input he has with regard to the ongoing war in the Middle East. Will he be able to solve the problem of ISIS by working with other countries? We will have to wait and see.

Many countries are a little fearful of what he will do on international relations with various countries. He is not a politician but a business man, so there may not be a softly softly approach to his dealings with many countries. His idea of building a wall along the border with Mexico is just one example.

On the domestic side many are fearful of what he will do to solve the problems currently evident in the USA. Crime must surely be top of the list as it steadily increases. Sad to say, but a lot of it is due to the blacks and Mexican immigrants and it remains to be seen how he will deal with this problem. The economy is also something that he needs to look at, but being a business man he may be able to help get it back on its feet again.

Without doubt the position of President of the United States is a powerful post and whoever holds it can do a lot of good in the world. On the other hand it can bring the world into chaos. We will just have to wait and see how Trump handles it. We can only hope he does the right thing.

Roy.

Who To Choose – Trump Or Clinton?

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, Elections, Environment, European Union, News, Nuclear Weapons, Obama, President with tags , , , , on 18/10/2016 by floroy1942

Clinton Versus TrumpThis article may ruffle a few feathers among Americans, especially as I do not live in the USA, but the question is a valid one. Which candidate would you choose as President of the United States of America? On the one hand we have Hilary Clinton, and on the other business man Donald Trump. To be perfectly honest I would not choose either of them, for neither one is honest enough to hold the post.

So far as Hilary is concerned there is the scandal of her e-mails while she was Secretary of State, plus the scandals surrounding her and her husband while he was President. Plus their Clinton Foundation shenanigans. There is of course much more hiding under the table.

So far as Trump is concerned he has made himself unpopular with women because of secret recordings made while he made jokes about women and the many allegations of rape made against him from women who have suddenly come forward after staying silent for many years. On top of this there are his many failures in business which are steadily becoming public knowledge.

To be completely honest, I think that neither of them are fit for the most powerful post in the world, i.e. President of the United States.

In the last few elections for this post there has been mudslinging one against the other, but neither candidate has laid out how they would run the country. This was always the main focus of attention by prospective nominees in the distant past, but that has disappeared in the more recent elections.

Obama and Mitt Romney fought like cats and dogs, slandering each other and not concentrating on how they would run the country, and the same is true now. The Presidential Election has become a ‘no holds barred’ fight between the two candidates and whoever manages to drag up the most dirt about their opponent wins. This is not the way to run an election for the Presidency.

It would be nice if each candidate laid out the plans they have for running the country, and how they would coöperate with foreign powers. The people should be more interested in how they would serve the public and make their lives better. But it seems that this approach is history as we delve more and more into ‘in-fighting’ between the candidates.

The position of President of the United States is the most powerful in the world, and those who hold it should be concentrating on making lives better and paving the way for true peace in the world, but with these two candidates that will never happen. Clinton is only interested in making herself and her husband richer at the expense of the people, while Trump is only out for fame and fortune.

How will they treat Russia? Will they enter into negotiations to lift the threat of war that is currently hovering over the world? How will they treat the catastrophe that has overtaken the Middle East? What will they do in America to battle the increasing contamination of our atmosphere. How will they improve the living standards of the American people? All of these subjects have not even entered their heads for they say nothing about how they would act as President. All they do is concentrate on mudslinging.

All I can say is, God help us all if either of these two get into power.

Roy.

Hilary Caught Out In Lies – Again.

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, Elections, England, News, Obama, Politics, USA with tags , , , , on 30/09/2016 by floroy1942

A friend sent me this and it set me to wondering what the American people would think of it. Read this and see what you think:

Moderator: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Let’s start the first questions with you Mrs. Clinton.

When you were Secretary of State why did you let a Russian company purchase 1/2 of the United States Uranium reserves?
How much money was donated by Russian companies to your Foundation?
When you worked for the State Department how did you conduct Secret Classified business without using a secure email server?
What kind of assault weapons were you funneling through Benghazi to ISIS in Syria before Ambassador Stevens was murdered?
Why were you interested in the over-throw of Assad in Syria?

When you left the White House after your husband’s last term as president, why did you steal $200,000.00 worth of furniture, China, and artwork that you were forced to return?

Mrs. Clinton, when you were Secretary of State, why did you solicit contributions from foreign governments for the Clinton foundation after you promised President Obama you would not?
Mrs. Clinton, why do you and your husband claim to contribute millions of dollars to charity for a tax write off when it goes to your family foundation, (slush fund), that gives out less than 5% of the funds
You collect and you use the balance to support yourself tax free?

Mrs. Clinton, why are you unable to account for 6 billion dollars of State department funds that seem to have disappeared while you were Secretary of State?
Mrs. Clinton, why did you say you were broke when you left the White House, but you purchased a $2 million home, built an addition for the secret service, and charged the tax payers of the United States rent in an amount equal to the entire mortgage?
And Mrs. Clinton, how is it that your daughter, Chelsea, can afford to buy a $10.5 million apartment in New York City shortly after you left the White House?

And speaking of Chelsea, how is it that her first paying job, in her late 20’s, was for more than the salary of the President of the United States? Was there a quid pro quo of any sort involved??

Mrs. Clinton why did you lie to the American people about the terrorist attack in Benghazi but managed to tell the truth to your daughter the same night it happened?

Mrs. Clinton why did you lose your law license? Why did your husband lose his?
Mrs. Clinton, what really happened to Ron Brown when he was about to testify against you and your husband?

Why did you lie to the public for over a year that you never sent classified information from your private illegal server? Why did you delete over 33.000 e-mails and then bleach your computer hard drive from that same server?

Why did you lie about being in danger and taking fire when you landed in Bosnia? 

Take your time to respond Mrs. Clinton…….

 

Ps. There are hundreds of other examples of her lies, just not enough time to list them all.

Some people will think I am taking sides in the presidential debate, but I am not. Most politicians get voted in because the public, well some of them, believe the lies they tell. This is just an example of the some of them. There are a lot more, in fact, the list is endless!

Roy.

Donald Trump Joke!

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, UK, United Nations with tags , , , , on 19/08/2016 by floroy1942

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour  of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells the American Diplomats accompanying him, ‘You can have  him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for  just $100.’

The American Diplomats go into a corner and discuss for a few minutes. They  come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, ‘Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him  home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?

The American Diplomats replied, ‘Long ago a man died here, was buried here,  and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can’t take the risk.’

 Roy.

Are You Voting For Clinton?

Posted in America, Britain, Elections, Government, Modern World, News, Politics, President, USA with tags , , , on 20/04/2016 by floroy1942

Voting for Hillary Clinton – See what you think of this!

https://youtu.be/kypl1MYuKDY

Just click on the link. It will open your eyes. I should warn you that I have no way of verifying this statement, but I thought it might interest many voters for it is going viral.

Roy.

 

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