Just Joking!

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”

A drunk staggers out of a bar and lets go a loud belch just as a couple are walking in the door. The man yells at the drunk, “How dare you belch before this woman!” The drunk says, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know she wanted to go first.

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while. Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, “Hurry, hurry! It’s going to rain and we left the top down!”

Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbour crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked, “What’s the matter Mary? What has upset you?” The blonde neighbour replied, “My dog has died and I’m going to bury it here.” Mr. Brown said, “You only have one dog, so why have you dug three holes?” She answered, “The first two were too small.”

One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, “Why are you home so early?” He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.” She said, “Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?” Jimmy replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?'”

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in September,” the friend continued, “my father died, leaving me $90,000.” “Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.” “Then last month, my aunt died and left me $15,000.” “Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.” “Then this month,” continued the friend, “absolutely nothing!”

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish?

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.” The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too.” The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.” “$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man. “Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests.”

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.” The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.” Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.” As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal.” The trucker replies, “Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick.”

Hope you enjoyed it. ‘Til next time.

Roy.

Arrested For Being Raped In Dubai

United Arab Emirates

Yet again we hear of a woman being arrested in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) after reporting to the police that she had been raped by two Muslims. What is the matter with these people? It is well know that the Qu’ran allows the rape of non-Muslim woman by anyone, which is disgraceful.

In the last few years there have been various cases of women reporting to the police that they have been raped, and nothing happens to the rapists, but the victim is sent to jail for sex outside marriage or adultery.

From information available it would seem she had a drink with two Muslims from Birmingham (UK) and then went with them back to their hotel. It was there that she suffered a ‘brutal and violent’ rape by the two men who filmed the entire episode. Once she was released she went straight to the police to report it but was immediately arrested and had her passport confiscated. She was later released on bail.

I have to say that she was somewhat silly to go back with these men to their hotel, but I guess we all do stupid things now and again. I know that in the same situation I would never have done it. Now we have to wait for the court case to find out what will happen to her. She could conceivably be jailed or released and told to leave the country.

It just goes to prove that the majority of Muslim countries still live in the dark ages and will never change. In Arab countries men can do as they please without fear of retribution, but a slight step over the line and a woman can face dire penalties. It is without doubt time these people started living in the modern era for their laws have not changed in over a thousand years and do not fit in today’s society.

Roy.

The Menace Of Tax Havens

I read an article on Yahoo today that says all tax havens should be quarantined. That I certainly agree with! While you and I try as best we can to make enough money to live on, the rich are hiding away their ill-gotten gains in tax havens so they don’t have to pay tax. This has an astounding affect on all of us.

The gist of the article says that all tax havens should be cut off from the global financial system. “They call for making it illegal for anyone in cooperative countries to have an account in a non-cooperative jurisdiction, or for someone in a cooperating country to be a shareholder in a corporation in a non-cooperative one.”

This means that it would be illegal for people to stow away money in a country or system that is not open to the world of finance. All these areas must be open to outside scrutiny and in effect, global auditors must be able to scrutinize all bank accounts wherever they are.

This idea of hiding away trillions of dollars from the tax people in any country in the world is a scandal, for if these politicians and businessmen paid the taxes that were due, most of the world’s monetary problems would be solved.

These billions of dollars could be used to aid the poorer countries of the world, feed those dying of hunger, and solve the sickness that is so prevalent in many countries in the world. Without a doubt, it could be used to solve the major debt problems across the world.

The sad thing is, these ultra-rich people just let it lie there in these accounts and never think of doing some good with their money. There are exceptions of course like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet who use their billions to do good in the world, its just a pity that all the ultra-rich do not think the same. Most of these people have more money than they could spend in three lifetimes, but they prefer to hide it away and do nothing with it. The phrase “It’s all mine, mine, mine!” comes to mind. It’s more about bucking the system and being able to brag about the fact that they are billionaire’s.

I have for a long time advocated that all these multi-billionaires should pay taxes on their often ill-gotten gains and do some good with it, but will it ever happen? There is a slim hope now that all these people will be caught with their ill-gotten gains if this plan goes ahead. Let’s hope it does.

Roy.

Demonstration Mania

Violent Demonstrations Against Trump In America

What is it with people these days that they always want to demonstrate on the streets, smash shop windows and burn cars? Almost all demonstrations eventually turn out to be violent even though they start peacefully. I think it is because of teenagers and young men who create mayhem wherever they go because they enjoy it. The main reason for this is because their parents and schools have not taught them respect for others and their views.

Sadly, it indicates a change in mentality among the youth these days from when I was young, for we got our kicks from playing football on the streets or other innocent games, but now violence is the key word. But that is not the main reason why we have demonstrations today.

In many countries it is through dissatisfaction with the government because they seem incapable of running a country the way people want. Other times it is because they do not agree with the majority view, as in the Brexit campaign in Britain. Although the majority of people voted for Brexit, those who voted to stay in the European Union could not accept this and began demonstrating, sometimes violently, on the streets.

In America the same thing happened with the presidential election because Donald Trump won. Now the streets are full of violent demonstrations against him. No-one seems to be patient and willing to wait and see what sort of president he will be. He may be the best thing that has happened to America in generations, on the other hand he could be the worst, but people have decided not give him a chance.

When I was a young man the people were always willing to see what the next Prime Minister would do for the country. Some were good and some were bad, but you only ever found that out in time.

It is not only America and Great Britain where violent demonstrations take place, it is in the majority of countries all over the world from Hong Kong to New York. As people get more and more violent you can be sure this will mean a very difficult future for mankind. We have reached an era where those who lose cannot accept it and want to force change to their way of thinking.

Many will say we are headed for complete anarchy in the world, which will have dire consequences on the future of mankind. If we cannot live in peace with each other then what future does mankind have.

We have to start changing the way in which we educate our children. We have to impress on them that violence is not the way to live their lives, that there are rules by which we live, and violence is not one of them. We have to teach them to respect the views of another even if they do not agree, and not turn to violence. Otherwise, we will all eventually be swallowed by anarchy.

Roy.

So Trump Has Won – What Next?

Against all the predictions Donald Trump has won the American election for President. So what now? There seems to be great unrest in America at the result, for many are not waiting to see what the man can do for America and demonstrate on the streets against him. Will he be a good President and solve many international and domestic problems or not. That is the question on many people’s lips at the moment.

Top of the agenda will be solving the tensions with Russia, but Putin has already said he is hopeful of  relieving the tensions that currently exist with Trump when he becomes President. That at least is a step in the right direction.

It will be interesting to see what input he has with regard to the ongoing war in the Middle East. Will he be able to solve the problem of ISIS by working with other countries? We will have to wait and see.

Many countries are a little fearful of what he will do on international relations with various countries. He is not a politician but a business man, so there may not be a softly softly approach to his dealings with many countries. His idea of building a wall along the border with Mexico is just one example.

On the domestic side many are fearful of what he will do to solve the problems currently evident in the USA. Crime must surely be top of the list as it steadily increases. Sad to say, but a lot of it is due to the blacks and Mexican immigrants and it remains to be seen how he will deal with this problem. The economy is also something that he needs to look at, but being a business man he may be able to help get it back on its feet again.

Without doubt the position of President of the United States is a powerful post and whoever holds it can do a lot of good in the world. On the other hand it can bring the world into chaos. We will just have to wait and see how Trump handles it. We can only hope he does the right thing.

Roy.

Where Is Our World Heading?

Not since the Second World War have there been so many problems in our world as today. It makes me wonder what our future holds for us. On every continent there is trouble and strife, unbounded crime, often violent demonstrations by the public, and in many cases war.

What does the future hold for the human race? Are we headed for complete annihilation in a few decades? The steadily rising tensions between the United States and Russia are an indication that we could be headed for a nuclear war if someone doesn’t do something to cool down relations between the two countries.

This has all been brought about by the rising tensions over the battles raging in Syria because the Russians back Assad, while the West considers him a criminal.

The ISIS insurgency is causing major problems all across the world from the Far East to Western shores and currently there is no end solution. As I have often said, if the U.N. were to put together an international force to wipe out ISIS and all other Muslim insurgents wherever they appear we could return to peace, but they just don’t seem interested. So consequently we have many nations fighting this terrorist organisation and they cannot all agree on the way forward. This is causing tensions among many governments and has led to major disagreements between Russia and the western nations.

Also there is the rising tensions between China and many Far Eastern countries over control of the East and South China Seas, which China claims for itself. They have no right to do this, and many countries including Japan, are fighting against it.

On top of this we have the governments of many lands at loggerheads with the population in many parts of the world where people want a change of leadership. This is evident in places like South Africa, Venezuela, Libya, Yemen, Japan and even Singapore among many others. Unrest is spreading across the globe as more and more people are dissatisfied with their government. The world has never seen as many problems as we have now.

The big problem for mankind is, where will it all end? If Russia and the West cannot solve their problems we could see a nuclear war breaking out, and that would mean the end of life on this planet. The leaders of the world need to come together to work out plans for peace before we end up starting the Armageddon process from which there would be no turning back.

The United Nations (even the name is a farce for they are a long way from being united) needs to come together with no preconceived ideas, and talk to each other honestly and with sincerity if the human race is to survive.

All countries need to work together if we are to solve the tensions that exists between nations. On top of that, they need to discuss the many problems that face the world like famine, hunger, over population, climate change, and of course the threat of wars breaking out.

Ever since the United Nations stepped in to stop communists from taking over South Korea in 1950 it has done nothing but stand on the sidelines. There have been many high level discussions about problems in the world, but all have achieved nothing.

To my mind the United Nations has outgrown its usefulness for they seem incapable of solving any of the world’s problems. I have not heard yet of a top level meeting between the five nations of the Security Council to solve the ongoing problems between Russia and The West. You have to ask if they are capable of doing such a thing, for everyone is out for their own interests.

With the rising tensions across the world one would expect the U.N. to be in the forefront of attempts to make peace, but no, they just sit on their fat backsides and do nothing.

People in most countries not directly affected by these tensions go about their daily business without a care in the world, for they do not see the building of tensions among certain countries and what could ensue from this.

If mankind is to survive there has to be serious discussion and agreement on tackling the problems of the world, otherwise we are all lost. Lets hope that in the near future the people at the top will see the sense in this.

Roy.

Brexit – What An Absolute Mess!

The decision was taken by the people of Great Britain to leave the European Union before it totally destroyed us, but now, Gina Miller, a woman obviously looking out for her own business interests, filed a law suit to stop Brexit through the Courts, and won! The big question now is where do we go from here?

On the one hand we have the will of the British people, who by a majority voted that we should leave the Union, and on the other hand, a single business woman, with her colleague hairdresser Deir Dos Santos, who may well have destroyed the whole deal.

To my mind this is not democracy, this is a farce when one woman can stop something that the majority of the nation has voted for. To me it beggars belief. The High Court judges ruled that it should be put to a vote in Parliament before Article 50 is triggered, indicating that the will of the people has no significance.

Theresa May said she would initiate Article 50 in March next year but now, but that is no longer certain. The whole idea could be crushed, because it is well known that a majority of M.P’s are against separation from Europe.  This means that many M.P’s could be going against the wishes of the general public they represent, possibly for their own ends.

As you would expect, this has thrown the whole Brexit idea into chaos. We have to hope that cool heads will rule as this problem progresses, for it has been made known that this case will now be taken to the highest court in the land, and if that fails it will go the the European Court. To be honest, if it goes to the European Court I cannot see any of the judges going against today’s ruling. So despite the wishes of the people in this country, this could turn out to be a long drawn out process that could very well upset the British people’s desire for Brexit.

It is well known that two thirds of M.P’s in the House of Commons do not favour leaving the European Union despite all the plans that Brussels has for us, like forming the United States of Europe under their direct control. Many of them will vote against the idea, and if they win it will put a nail in the coffin of democracy in this nation.

It is a fact that since the referendum, many European countries have begun looking at the idea of leaving themselves. This is evident in Germany after Merkel’s stupid invitation to more than a million immigrants, and also in France, Holland, Denmark, Sweden and many others. People are feeling decidedly unhappy about the number of immigrants that are pouring into the continent from all over the world.

From the beginning the non-elected leaders of Europe have said that Britain must allow free movement of people across our borders if we are to have free trade with Europe. When you consider that the greater majority of immigrants want to come to the U.K. because of our generous benefits system, the country would be literally swamped with migrants all demanding benefits. In many cases immigrants are living a far better life than many of our own workers because of this.

Those immigrants that want to work will be accepting wages far below that of an English worker, and as it is doing now, driving wages down for everybody. If this goes on it will destroy the whole economy of the country.

Theresa May must fight this stupid ruling, or ensure that sufficient M.P’s vote for the Brexit plan, or we are doomed. It is tragic that one stupid woman could bring down an entire country.

Roy.