Archive for December, 2014

New York – Another Walmart?

Posted in America, Britain, Canada, Equality, Europe, Insanity, Modern World, News, UK, USA with tags , , , , on 29/12/2014 by floroy1942

I have from time to time put up posts about the strange people you find in Walmart supermarkets, but now I find that New York has its fair share also. The following photo’s were taken on the New York Metro System and highlight some of the more strange people among us.

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It just goes to show you that the age old saying “Different strokes for different folks” is still highly relevant today.

A Happy New Year to all!

Roy

 

 

The Afghanistan Comedy

Posted in Afghanistan, America, Britain, European Union, Islamic Revolution, News, Pakistan, Politics, Taliban, Terrorism with tags , , , , on 28/12/2014 by floroy1942

Today (28/12/2014) the NATO presence in Afghanistan has finally come to an end with some outrageous claims being made during the low-key ceremony held in Kabul.

General John Campbell, the U.S. NATO commander

General John Campbell, the U.S. NATO commander

General John Campbell, the U.S. NATO commander, said in his speech, “Together we have lifted the Afghan people out of the darkness of despair and given them hope for the future. I hope you take great pride in the positive impact you’ve made and will continue to make upon the Afghan people,” He told the gathered troops, “You’ve made Afghanistan stronger and our countries safer.” Seldom have I heard such a load of sanctimonious bullshit!

The event itself was even held in secret for fear of a Taliban attack on the ceremony, so how the hell can they have “made Afghanistan stronger?”

American Casualties

American Casualties

Ever since the war started in 2001 the ISAF has suffered 3,485 deaths, and that’s just the Americans! The British have also lost 453. Additionally, there have been 93 fatalities among troops from the non-NATO contributors to the coalition, Georgia, Australia, Sweden, New Zealand, Finland, Jordan, South Korea and Albania.

Afghan Caualties

Afghan Casualties

The biggest casualties are among the Afghan people, for the war has cost an estimated 174,000 civilian deaths. The annual figures rose to a new high during 2014, with a total of 3,188 deaths in the first ten months of the year. The Afghan Police too suffered heavily in the last year with an estimated 4,600 deaths over the same period.

A Taliban spokesman, Zabihullah Mujahid said, “The US and NATO mission was an absolute failure as today’s ceremony shows. They are fleeing from Afghanistan. They have not reached their goals in defeating the Afghan mujahideen, but they are keeping some forces here to reach their vicious aims.”

Taliban

Taliban

Admittedly, since ISAF went into Afghanistan the Taliban have had their wings clipped, but after 13 years of war they are still a potent fighting force that in my view, may well end up controlling the country again within a couple of years.

At the ceremony, control was officially handed over to the Afghan Forces which number around 350,000, but as we have seen in Iraq, numbers don’t say very much. Who is to say we will not see the Afghan soldiers running away every time the Taliban attack?

So far as the NATO Forces involvement is concerned, the whole exercise has basically been for nothing, for not much has really changed in Afghanistan.

British Soldiers On the Battlefront

British Soldiers On the Battlefront

Had ISAF gone into the country in 2001 with the express purpose of destroying the Taliban totally, the war would have been over in half the time and the Afghan people would now be safe. As it is, not a lot has been achieved.

I believe the commanders made half-hearted, uncoördinated attacks against the Taliban which in effect achieved very little, for they are still a strong and effective force within the country. Now they are just waiting for the bulk of the foreign forces to leave before making their attempt to take over again.

The Afghan Army is in my view not a force that can be relied on, which does not bode well for the country’s future. But I hope I am wrong, for the sake of the Afghan people.

Pakistani Troops Fight The Taliban In The NW Province

Pakistani Troops Fight The Taliban In The NW Province

When the Americans and British made their sweep of the southern provinces a couple of years back in an effort to wipe out the Taliban forces, they were stupid enough to leave the back door open i.e. the border with Pakistan. As you would expect, the militants just crossed over until the troops left and then came back. Some months later the Pakistan Army made a half-hearted attempt to clear their North-West Provinces on the border and the reverse happened.

It makes basic common sense to me that if the two attacks had been coordinated to occur at the same time, the Taliban would have had nowhere to hide and the whole action could have resulted in a major victory. As it is, the whole exercise was a waste of time.

Afghan Army - We Have Yet To See if They Can Fight

Afghan Army – We Have Yet To See if They Can Fight

What saddens me the most is that all the casualties incurred during the war were basically for nothing, because little has been achieved. Now the troops are coming home, leaving a few behind to act as instructors to the Afghan Army. An Army which has yet to prove it has the guts to fight and win against the Taliban.

Roy.

The Radical Cleric Dilemma

Posted in Al Quada, Britain, Children, Islamic Revolution, News, Pakistan, Sharia Law, Taliban, Terrorism, United Nations with tags , , , , on 27/12/2014 by floroy1942

Many times I have written that in my view much of the trouble between Muslims and everyone else is the fault of radical Muslim clerics who feel it is their sacred duty to side with extremists.

This has been proven many times within the past decade or so with the likes of Abu Hamsa and Abu Qatada in Britain, who persuaded young Muslim men to go and fight for Islam with some terrorist group. The Brits are however not the only ones suffering with this problem as demonstrated by an article in today’s news.

School Computer Room

School Computer Room After The Attack

The December 16th massacre of 132 children and 13 adults at the school in Peshawar Pakistan by the Taliban, created a wave of protest against this terrorist group and finally pushed the government into taking decisive action against these terror mongers. There have been widespread demonstrations against the Taliban in Pakistan as people learn in this stark message what this group is all about.

But for some twisted individuals in Pakistan the uproar has been an excuse to come out and defend the actions of the Taliban, strange though it may seem. One such person is the pro-Taliban cleric and head of the Red Mosque in the capital Islamabad,  Maulana Abdul Aziz, who has stated publicly that the attack was ‘understandable’.

Maulana Abdul Aziz - Taliban Supporter

Maulana Abdul Aziz – Taliban Supporter

The reason he gave in later sermons to his flock was that the action was a “justifiable reaction to the army’s ‘un-Islamic’ operation against militants in the North Waziristan tribal district.” He said, “O rulers, O people in power, if you will commit such acts, there will be a reaction,” prompting further protests accusing him of being a Taliban sympathiser.

The Red Mosque has been a centre of support for the Taliban in Islamabad for a long time. In 2007 a week-long military siege against militants within the mosque resulted in around 100 deaths, and earlier this month female students affiliated with the Red Mosque issued a video statement praising the Islamic State group, and calling on it to avenge the death of Osama bin Laden.

This week a Pakistani Court issued an arrest warrant for Maulana Abdul Aziz, but it would seem the Police are having difficulty serving it. A police official in capital Islamabad is reported as saying, “The Police have received the court order and we are trying our best to implement it.”

Strong In Numbers - But Can They Make A Single Arrest?

Strong In Numbers – But Can They Make A Single Arrest?

It would appear that the Police are having problems because the cleric has many supporters within the Red Mosque. Hafiz Ihtesham Ahmed, a spokesman for the mosque accused civil society activists of pressurizing police to register a case against Aziz. He said, “This case has no grounds, so we will resist any move to arrest Maulana Abdul Aziz.” From this it would seem that any attempt by the Police to arrest this man will cause a gunfight on the streets of Islamabad.  Just like everywhere else, radical clerics have their ardent followers.

I have long held the view that it is people like Aziz who are stoking the hatred among Muslims, and fermenting the destruction and death they cause. It does not matter where you are, there will always be one of these animals preaching in a mosque near you.

Islamic State Executions

Islamic State Executions

It has been for this reason that I have always advocated the British judiciary root out these people and deport them, for they are sowing poison, and its surprising how many people get hooked on their lies, especially impressionable young teenagers. This is the main reason why so many young Muslims have left Europe to fight for Islāmic State.

I just cannot understand how any ‘holy’ man can justify an armed group walking into a school gathering and mercilessly gunning down school children as young as eight. What can they hope to achieve except turn the population against them.

Mastermind Behind The Peshawar Massacre

Mastermind Behind The Peshawar Massacre – Umar Mansoor

The Taliban, like I.S., Boko Haram and many other groups want to rule through fear, but their main aim is to rule, and enforce the savage Sharia Law on everyone. Its like every twisted and evil soul on the planet is joining these groups so they can ‘give rein’ to there perversions.

Sharia Justice - Stoned To Death

Sharia Justice – Stoned To Death

No matter what these twisted clerics say to their flocks, this is not the coming of the ‘Age of Enlightenment’ under Allah, but more a return to the darker periods in man’s history.

It can only be hoped that the Islamabad Police finally pluck up the courage to arrest this man and his followers and lock them away in a dark dungeon somewhere. Beyond doubt, it is time these vicious terrorist groups are defeated world-wide, and only strong action by the countries concerned can accomplish this.

The United Nations

The United Nations

If international assistance is required in the form of United Nations action then so be it, but to continue as we are with half-hearted and non-coordinated attempts against these people, this will drag on for decades.

In my view, the only way to stop the spread of this disease is to rid the world of these twisted clerics, for only then can peace be established once again in the world.

Well, at least until the next lot come along!

Roy.

The Farce That Is Human Rights Watch

Posted in Afghanistan, Al Quada, America, Children, Human Rights, Insurgents, News, Taliban, Terrorism, United Nations with tags , , , , on 26/12/2014 by floroy1942

The events in Pakistan last week have convinced me that Human Rights Watch (HRW) are a bunch of sanctimonious idiots, and not for the first time. Just about everyone knows of the tragic terrorist attack on a school in Peshawar in which 149 were killed, including 132 children, and now it seems these idiots are siding with the militants.

In This Case That's All They Are Good For!

In This Case That’s All They Are Good For!

Why do I say that? Well, Human Rights Watch have strongly protested the decision by the Pakistan government to end the suspension of hanging insurgents who have been found guilty of terrorist offences.

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif

Last Friday the death sentence of two militants found guilty of terrorism offences in 2003 and 2009 were carried out on orders of the Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif who stated that the death sentence, suspended in 2008, would be reinstated. This was in reaction to the horrific killings in Peshawar.

The two terrorist who were hanged last Friday in Punjab Province were Arshad Mehmood, found guilty of being involved in the 2003 assassination attempt on former military ruler General Pervez Musharraf, and Aqil, who was convicted of taking part in an attack on the army headquarters in Rawalpindi in 2009.

The Taliban Killers Just Walked In And Opened Fire On The Gathered Children - 142 Died

The Taliban Killers Just Walked In And Opened Fire On The Gathered Children – 142 Died

Human Rights Watch launched a world-wide protest at the hanging of these two terrorists, calling them  “a craven politicized reaction to the Peshawar killings”, and demanded that no further hangings be carried out.

In a statement the group said, “Pakistan’s government has chosen to indulge in vengeful blood-lust instead of finding and prosecuting those responsible for the horrific Peshawar attack.” This begs the question, when the Pakistan Authorities do find this group of merciless killers and condemn them to death, will the HRW contest their execution as well?

Even SADISTIC Child Killers Amnesty?????

Even SADISTIC Child Killers Amnesty?????

Amnesty International has also jumped on the bandwagon, releasing the following statement: “This is a cynical reaction from the government. It masks a failure to deal with the core issue highlighted by the Peshawar attack, namely the lack of effective protection for civilians in north-west Pakistan.”

Even the United Nations has contested the deaths by saying, “the death penalty has no measurable deterrent effect on levels of insurgent and terrorist violence” and “may even be counter-productive”. “No measurable deterrent”? There’s one thing for sure, neither of them will be committing terrorist offences again!

Islamabad Pirison

Islamabad Prison

Security has been stepped up at all prisons holding militants to prevent an attack to free the thousands of terrorists held in them, for it would not be beyond the realms of possibility that the insurgent groups would make an attempt to free their compatriots.

I am afraid that I agree with the Pakistan governments position in that anyone convicted on terror-related charges should receive the death sentence.  But I would go a step further. Knowing the Islamic fear of pigs, I would cover these people in pig’s blood before hanging them. This means in the Islamic faith that they will not go to heaven, and therefore not get their 72 virgins. That should scare the crap out of them!

Victims from The School

Victims from The School

The one thing I fail to understand is the attitude of groups like HRW and Amnesty International. These do-gooders are always mouthing off at any hint of true justice for perpetrators, but I wonder how they would feel if their children were amongst the dead in Peshawar, or the same thing happened in their home town?

It seems to me that these protest people live in ‘cloud cuckoo’ land, and have failed to recognize the true brutality of these Islamic terrorists. We live in an age where life means nothing to these people who are so bent on sowing death and destruction wherever they can, all in the name of Islam.

Clear How Parents Feel!

Clear How Parents Feel!

I wonder what they would have to say if some of the I.S. militants were to be caught and brought before the court. Remember, these people have beheaded hundreds of innocent civilians in Iraq and Syria! Perhaps HRW, Amnesty and the UN would rather they were imprisoned in a nice cosy cell with waiter service, a TV, game station and library?

It is not until sad people like these are on the receiving end of terrorist brutality that they realize what the world is fighting against. If these people object to the death sentence for such atrocities, the courts could always assign these rabid mongrels to be looked after and cared for by these idiots who are against the death sentence. I would love to see how long their ‘humanity’ would last with a terrorist living in their house, raping their wife and children.

Bin Laden Hideout

Bin Laden Hideout

I must say that to a great extent Pakistan has brought this atrocity on itself, for many members of the government, especially the Intelligence Service, have in my view been in collaboration with the Taliban all along. How else could Bin Laden have lived within a mile of a military base for several years without being caught?

Taliban Strongholds

Taliban Strongholds

Even when the government ordered the troops into the North West Provinces a couple of years ago they did not go all the way to the border and root these terrorists out. No, they stopped before the job was completed and the whole episode was a waste of effort. The government, instead of going all the way and wiping these criminals out, have since tried to appease them for fear they will attack and take over the country.

Where this entire scenario will end, and when, is anybody’s guess. Of one thing you can be sure, many more thousands will die before this sad episode in man’s history is over.

Roy.

I Am At A Loss For Words – Almost!

Posted in America, Britain, England, European Union, Human Rights, Justice, News, Terrorists with tags , , , , on 25/12/2014 by floroy1942

I have written before about the stupidity of British and European Justice, but this just about takes my breath away, and it will yours too.

Gerri Tahiri Arrested For Aiding Terrorists

Gerri Tahiri Arrested For Aiding Terrorists

Gerri Tahari, the wife of a ‘suspected’ jihadist was arrested recently for shipping supplies to her husband Rabat who is fighting in Syria at the head of extremist forces, and aiding a terrorist organization. She was arrested at the beginning of the year along with  Moazzam Begg who had spent considerable time in Guantanamo Bay  as a guest of the Americans. He was accused of providing funds and terrorist training.

Moazzam Begg, A Former Prisoner In Guantanamo Bay, Who Has Also Been Cleared

Moazzam Begg, A Former Prisoner In Guantanamo Bay, Who Has Also Been Cleared

The woman, Gerri Tahiri was prosecuted for sending various items to her husband in Syria including sleeping mats, long range walkie-talkies, eye goggles, a fleece, wellingtons and many other items.

Despite her husband being a terrorist group leader and the fact she had been supplying him with his needs, the prosecution has dropped its case against her. This being done in the light of medical reports that say, wait for it, Mrs. Tahari is suffering from depression!

Prosecutor Brian Altman QC

Prosecutor Brian Altman QC

Prosecutor Brian Altman QC is quoted as saying: “We have had time to consider their content and effect. Now that we have the medical reports and having carefully considered their content, the view has been taken both by the CPS and law officers that it is no longer in the public interest to continue with her prosecution. In the light of that we offer no evidence.”

What is also amazing is that Gerri Tahiri’s 20 year-old son Hemmo Moloud Tahari, was also accused of funding Rabat Tahari with his housing benefit before the case against him was dropped in July. I guess he too was depressed!

So there you have it! Anyone arrested for terrorist activities in Britain just needs to claim they are depressed and they will be released without charge. Its a pity Bin Laden didn’t know that!

Christmas – A Time To Be Happy

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Children, England, Europe, Modern World, News, Senior Citizen, UK with tags , , , , on 25/12/2014 by floroy1942

Its that time of year again when we are supposed to put all our worries to one side and enjoy the Christmas spirit. I hope this helps!

Old Folks

 I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour, but, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts, have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet any more, can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92, have lost all my friends, but, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

The last photo I have of my dog!

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The Kingdom of Thailand

In the original native culture of Thailand , when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following community ceremony: They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A Beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each of the men. She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects.

(This keeps them off his face during the ceremony)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the centre of the circle. As soon as all the men become fully aroused, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the erect penises downwards as much as they can and then, on a given signal from the centre dancer, release them. The men’s penises would then spring back up and go “WHAP!” against their belly buttons. This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity . . . The man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King.

And that, folks, is why the capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok .

Law Abiding Englishman

While hiking along the white cliffs of Dover this morning, I noticed a Muslim extremist slip from the cliffs and fall into the Channel. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all of the explosives he was carrying. If he didn’t get help, he’d surely drown.

Being a responsible Brit, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Kent Police and the Home Office. It is now 4 p.m., he has drowned, and neither authority has yet responded.

I’m starting to think that I wasted two stamps.

Ever wondered why Walmart is so famous – Here’s why:

Mommas Chatting (as you do)

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

”This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.” ”Yes, I remember him as a baby.” says the other mother cheerfully.

“He’s a martyr now though.” the mother confides. “Oh, so sad dear…” says the other.

”And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.” ”Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily, ”he had such curly hair when he was born.” ”He’s a martyr too…” says the mother quietly. ”Oh, gracious me…” says the other.

”And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18”, she whispers. “Yes,” says the friend enthusiastically, ”I remember when he first started school…” ”He’s a martyr also,” says the mother, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says……..
“They blow up so fast nowadays don’t they?”

Teacher

The Teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: “What do you do at Christmas time?”

Patrick addressed the class: “Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”

“Very nice Patrick,” she said. “Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?”

“Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.”

Realising there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, “Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?”

Isaac said, “Well, it’s the same thing every year . . . Dad comes home from the office, we all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad’s toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves . . . and begin to sing: ‘What A Friend We Have in Jesus’. Then we all go to the Bahamas

Have a happy holiday.

Roy

Something To Cheer You Up

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, England, Europe, Modern World, News, UK, USA with tags , on 21/12/2014 by floroy1942

Time for a little nonsense once again. I hope this brightens your weekend.

Lost Wife

A husband went to police station to report his missing wife:

 Husband : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.

Sergeant : What is her height ?

Husband : Oh, 5 something . . .

Sergeant :  Build?

Husband : Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant : Color of eyes?

Husband : Never noticed.

Sergeant : Color of hair?

Husband : Changes according to season.

Sergeant : What was she wearing?

Husband : Dress/suit/blue jeans — I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant : Did she go in a car?

Husband : yes.

Sergeant : What kind of car was  it?

Husband :  2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP.  8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.……………. at this point the husband started crying…

Sergeant : Don’t worry sir…….We’ll find your car.

Darwin Awards 2014

Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

 Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft.”

 Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

 Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.? A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest” members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.

 Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:

Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina ‘s electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

 Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:

A Dunkirk , IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle-loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff’s investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents’ rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54 caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

 Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ]:

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. “Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred,” said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. “It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony,” Honer said.

 Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole ‘s pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the ..22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. “Thank God we weren’t on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead,” stated Wallis

“I’ve been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,” said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole ( Poole ‘s wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?

 Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

 ATT00000

This is exactly the same look I get from my friends, when I tell them I have given up beer.

First Jump

A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers – his father had been airborne. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. 

“So, how was your 1st jump?” the father asked. 

“Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!” 

“Is that when you jumped?” asked the father. 

“No, not then. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and push them out the door.”

”Did you jump then?” asked the father. 

“m getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane.” 

I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my ass.” 

“So, so then you jumped?” 

“Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. 

The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five and 250 pounds. He said to me, ‘Boy, are you going to jump or not?’ 

I said, ‘No, Sir. I’m too scared.’ 

So the Jump Master unzipped his pants and took his Willie out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! Like a baseball bat. He said, ‘Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I’m sticking this up your ass.’ ” 

“So, did you jump?” asked the father. 

“A little, at first ” 

ATT00001

Proof that women can parallel park!

Harrod’s

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a Salesman standing right behind her – Good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help You today?”

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little incident, she asks, “What is the price of this lovely bracelet?”

He answers, “Madam – if you farted just looking at it – you are going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!”

Have a fun day. Until next time.

Roy.

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