Crazy? You couldn’t Make It Up! Season 1 Episode 4

Gimmee Some Peas

Today we begin with the tale of a cat that most certainly has nine lives. A black and white 1 year-old was trapped in a warehouse freezer kept at a constant -2*C for a period of four weeks, and survived. The cat apparently entered the warehouse freezer from the back of a lorry and was seen on several occasions over a period of a month by warehouse staff, but they couldn’t catch him. It was only when the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) were called in that the animal was rescued. It seems the cat survived the big freeze by eating frozen peas and licking moisture from cartons. The poor thing did not escape scot-free however for it was necessary to amputate its tail and ears which had suffered frostbite. Thankfully it has made a full recovery and is now with a new owner. Not quite a case of ‘curiosity killed the cat’ thank goodness!!!

Move Boy -Go Do Yoga!

The Labour government has come up with another amazing scheme that is to say the least, laughable. They are currently hiring 1000 ‘Lifestyle Coaches’, and their job – teach child ‘couch-potato’s’ yoga and cheer-leading. So how does that grab you? The funny part about this ridiculous waste of public funds is at the same time they are doing this, they are selling off all the school sports fields where children could be doing sports. Yoga and cheer-leading will I suspect be bottom on the list of priorities of today’s computer and gaming youth. Far better I would have thought to have them doing sports during school hours so they get to move their little fat backsides once in a while!!!

I Got More Bugs Than I Used To!

It ceases to amaze me how scientists can come up with the craziest research and call it science. Today a team from Emory University in Atlanta Georgia have come up with the theory that obesity is caused by a ‘tummy bug’ that makes you eat. In the journal ‘Science’ they say tests carried out on mice, but relevant to humans, indicates a bug in the digestive tract that makes you want to eat more. Out the window go all the theories that fat people get that way from over-eating and lack of exercise. So if you are obese you can blame something other than your own self indulgence. Phew! You see, it’s not my fault!!!

Ughhhh! Yes! Yes!

Parents of children attending East Wol Primary School in Legbourn Lincolshire, are livid at the fact their 7 year-old darlings have been shown a controversial Channel 4 Cartoon video about SHHHH! S-E-X! The fuss is about a sex education video made by Channel 4 that has been circulating in schools  for almost ten years and has been very well received. One mother, who took her child out of the school said; “The cartoon was very graphic. My daughter was frightened and children have unfortunately been copying what they have seen“(Oops!). She went on; “Seven to nine-year-olds should not possess this knowledge. There is no educational or psychological benefit or need for children of this age to have full knowledge of what sexual intercourse actually entails.” It would seem the cartoon is extremely explicit, with the voiceover saying it is exciting (that rather depends on how good your partner is)!!!

Urghh! My Head!

You should be happy to know that you do not need to suffer a hangover after the night before anymore. I bet that’s good news to a lot of people! A team of researchers from South Korea’s Chungnam National University’s College of Pharmacy found that if oxygen is added to alcoholic drinks you do not get a hangover after consuming large amounts. It would seem that the elevated oxygen levels break down the alcohol much quicker in the body and increase the metabolism. The down-side, there has to be one, you do not stay drunk as long as you used to be. Bummer!!!!

Last but not least, a tale from the US. Eliza Gonzalez of New Jersey carved a copy of the Venus De Milo statue on her front lawn

Modesty Madness

and had many people stop by to admire it. The statue was without head and arms, cut off from the knees…….and just like the original, naked! And that was the problem. While many people admired her handiwork, one of her neighbours complained to the police. So along comes the black and white complete with two baffled police officers who tell her she has to cover ‘the naughty’ bits or tear it down. Hence, Venus de Milo a’ la New Jersey now wears a bikini top and a beach wrap. Some people should be put out of our (their) misery!!!

Stay Happy. Till next time.

Roy.