Archive for Speed Cameras

Pure Genius!

Posted in Britain, England, Insanity, Justice, Modern World, News, Police, Teens, Traffic, UK with tags , , , on 06/10/2014 by floroy1942

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I hope you enjoyed it, but don’t get any ideas.

Roy.

Crazy? You Couldn’t Make It Up! Series 1 Episode 5

Posted in Britain, England, Insanity, Modern World, Obesity, Overweight, Traffic, UK with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 13/03/2010 by floroy1942

This last week has seen another crop of crazy and off-beat stories in the English Press. Some are so mind-boggling that one has to wonder at the intelligence level of people and institutions, but on the other hand, some of it is good-ish. Even the Labour Government falls into the weird category with the first story this week (Nothings changed there then!).

Mmmm! Delicious!

The government National Food Agency (FSA) is asking fish and chip shops to sell thicker chips rather than the normal chips because they say it will help in the Labour battle against obesity in the land. According to the ‘experts’, thicker chips contain less fat than their thinner counterpart, and are therefore ‘more healthy’. That is, if chips can be considered healthy at all.

Food Tasting

In a pilot scheme, the FSA is sending out ‘advisors’ to all fish and chip shops in Cambridgeshire who will measure the fat content of chips on sale, and advise the owner on improvements. Should this prove satisfactory the scheme will be applied to the whole country.

Needless to say, the attitude of the retailers is “Hands off our chips” because they say, fast food outlets sell extremely thin French fries

A La Fast Food!

while theirs are much thicker. And they do have a point! If you have ever been to Burger King, KFC or the American Embassy (Mcdonald’s to the uninitiated) you will find their chips are like matchsticks. Its probably all a storm in a teacup, but considering the British eat 1.5 million tons of chips a year as part of 225 million meals served per year. Thats an awful lot of chips off the old block!!!

If you have a yen(?) to go to Beijing in China you may be interested to know that the Chinese are planning to build a railway line with high

The Harmony Express

speed trains that will get you there, from London, in two days. That’s 5,070 miles (following the crow) in just two days, or if you go on to Singapore you will cover 6,750 miles in three days. Fair takes the breath away!

These clever people are planning routes from China to Europe, India, Pakistan, Vietnam, Thailand, Burma, Malaysia and Singapore.

The trains will run at 200 mph across 17 countries crossing the continents of Asia and Europe in a network connecting all the major cities. They are currently expanding their domestic rail routes with an extra 19,000 miles of track, and already have the world’s fastest train, the Harmony

All Strapped In - Ready to Go.

Express which travels at an amazing 250 mph. I hope the passengers have some means of ejection other than the conductor throwing them off the train (ejector seats!!!) You have to hand it to these fiendishly clever Orientals. I doubt Confucius has a saying to cover that!!!

Have you heard the one about the pharmacy assistant who refused to give a 38 year-old woman ‘The Pill’ because it was against her religion? It happened to Janine Deeley, a mother with two children, who took a doctor’s prescription to her local chemist. She was

The Pharmacy

prescribed the pill by her doctor because she suffers from a condition that gives her extreme abdominal pains during ‘that time of the month’ (you know what I mean, well, women do anyway). When she went to have her prescription filled the assistant refused to give her ‘the pill’ because she said it was against her religion!

Needless to say, Ms. Deeley complained and after the story hit the Press the Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great

RSPGB

Britain (RPSGB) said the pharmacist was acting within her rights. According to this high and mighty clique, a pharmacist has the right to refuse such a request on religious grounds, providing they make no attempt to force their personal view on someone else. If there were many like her the birth rate would go through the roof!!!

There are many opinions on speed cameras and if you ask the average British motorist he will call them money-making machines for

Speed Camera

the local council. Well, this opinion may well be accurate in at least one case anyway. A particular speed camera at road

Gotcha!

works on the M6 near Carlisle has made £334,000 from 5,569 naughty speed devils for the local council in just five weeks. If the trend continues, this single camera will make £500,000 during the two months it will have taken to repair the road at that point. That is the same as £3 million in a year, which breaks a record by a camera on the M11 which cost unwary drivers £1 million in a single year. Could it be the local councillors are each planning to buy a villa in Spain!!!

If you think the National Health Service in Britain is on its knees you wouldn’t be far wrong, and here is a case in point. Donatella Coppini, who suffers from osteoarthritis of the spine and can only walk with difficulty on crutches, was in such pain her partner was

Southend A&E

forced to take her to the hospital. They arrived in the family car and he parked just 150m away from the entrance while he went inside to ask for assistance in getting her into the A & E Department. To his disbelieve he was told to dial 999 (the emergency number) and call for an ambulance. It was 150m that’s all. They both had to wait in the car until an ambulance arrived and the Paramedics could help her into the hospital.

Ambulance for 150m?

Dr. Caroline Howard, the Clinical Director of A & E at Southend Hospital said staff at Reception were ‘not trained in helping patients’. She went on to add “this is standard procedure” and also “we have a set ratio of nursing staff in our A&E department and if any staff leave the department, it leaves us short to care for patients.”

Perhaps the following sign should be put up by the door! ‘NHS patients are requested not to be ill outside the door of A & E, but if you cannot avoid it please ring 999. Thank you. The Management!!!

Oh to be in England, now the Looneys have taken over!

Roy.

Britain – Land of the Loony’s. Part Two

Posted in Britain, England, Modern World, Traffic, UK with tags , , , , , , on 26/01/2010 by floroy1942

I suppose every country has its crazy stories about Loony’s, but Britain seems to have a monopoly recently. Here are some of the latest gems to come from the ‘Green and Pleasant Land’ news columns.

Newcastle Crown Court recently handed down an eight month sentence, suspended for twelve months, to a woman for having noisy sex. The love-making sessions between her and her husband have been heard regularly by her neighbours, passers by on the street, and even the local postman. Caroline Cartwright was given an ASBO (Anti-social Behaviour Order) by the court last April but admitted she broke it almost immediately. Tests carried out in the neighbours apartment have registered sound levels comparable to a loud conversation in the same room. Mrs Cartwright, while apologising for the disruption has admitted she can’t help it. With the court ruling however, she will be abstaining from sexual pleasure for a period of eight months if further complaints are received.

In Nottingham, a man has been fined, twice, for driving at O miles per hour in a 30 mph zone. Outside his house he has a speed camera from the local police, and when someone goes past above the limit, the number plate reading software latches on to his car which is parked just in front of the camera on the side of the road. As he has nowhere else to park he is stuck with the problem. The local police have apologised and say they will look into the problem.

The American Embassy, more commonly known as Macdonalds, has come under fire for a recent advertising campaign in Britain for confusing English slang for a five pence piece with an English pound. The advert, promoting a ‘Pound Saver Menu’ states “An English pound known as a ‘bob’ ” has caused an avalanche of criticism. The reason being, a  ‘bob’ is five pence, not a pound as supposed by Macdonalds. Calls have been made for the advertisement to be changed or withdrawn, although some people have been asking to pay only the five pence as advertised. Either way, the company has egg on its face for not doing sufficient research. Their view, incorrect as it may be, is that the ‘bob’ while once referred to as five pence is now used for the pound since Britain went decimal with its currency. At least its free advertising!

Two children’s TV presenters were cautioned under British Anti-Terrorism Laws by police in London for running around in flak jackets and utility belts, carrying among other things, hairdryers and fake walkie-talkie radios. The pair, complete with camera crew, were filming an episode of the children’s TV show ‘Toonattik’ when approached by four of Her Majesty’s Constabulary. The officers gave them a warning under The Act.

And to cap it all, last week the Holiday Inn Hotel Chain began offering its guests human bed warmers! A call to Reception will have a male or female (or both) bed warmer come to your room, clothed in a special suit, who will warm the bed to body temperature before you climb in. I’ve had one for years, I call her the wife! Certainly beats the hell out of a hot water bottle.

It’s a wacky world we live in.

Roy.

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