Archive for Single Mothers

Family Breakdown And The Repercussions

Posted in America, Britain, Child Discipline, Children, Christianity, England, Europe, Parenting, Relationships, Teen Violence with tags , , , on 30/12/2012 by floroy1942

According to an Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) survey on family life, Britain is now fourth among all western nations for the breakup of marriages and in particular, partnerships. By this they mean families where a relationship has broken down and children live alone with either the mother or father, compared to children living with both parents.

On The Decline

On The Decline

Britain has just 68.9% of children living with both parents, however the country at the top of the list is Finland with a score of  95.2%. Other examples are Italy at 92.1%, Spain at 91.5%, Germany at 82%  and the US on 70.7%. The country with the lowest percentage is Latvia on 64.9%.

As you would expect, in Britain at least, this situation is also linked with an increased divorce rate, but the predominance of so-called ‘partnerships’ these days means the divorce rate is a poor guide to one-parent families. Marriage was always viewed as a union for life in the past, but increasingly over the past thirty years or so actual marriage is no longer considered necessary and couples live together and have children by mutual consent.

A New Life - But A Life Lost!

A New Life – But A Life Lost!

The problems have been exacerbated by the steady decline in morality whereby the number of teenage pregnancies has gone through the roof compared to forty years ago. The days when couples did not have sex until they were married have long gone, much to the relief of many, but it means we are seeing too many young girls left ‘holding the baby’ – literally!

In a way this is sad, for it means there is no commitment from either partner in the union. It also means there are no legal ties and either one can just walk away if they feel like it. The fact that the union has produced children is but a small consideration, especially for the one who does the walking. I have always been of the opinion that couples who just ‘live together’ are much more likely to fail than those with a marriage contract, even in these times of increasing divorce rates.

Single Mother

Single Mother

At one time the appearance of children on the scene was a positive binding agent for any marriage, and often resulted in couples becoming closer even if they had tended to drift apart a little beforehand. But now in this ‘modern age’ with its total lack of commitment, children sometimes become a problem, or in many cases just a source of income in the form of ‘Family Allowance’.

In my opinion, the slow death of religion in the country has also played its part. Whereas years ago the churches were full on Sundays, now you often find only the old folks in church. Love it or hate it, religion in British churches did promote a sense of responsibility, respect and caring in people that is lacking today. With the steady rise of agnostics in society these admirable qualities are seldom evident as people concentrate more on themselves. This has had a steady influence on partnerships and as always it is the children who suffer the most.

Becoming Unruly

Becoming Unruly

There can be no doubt that a child who loses a father or mother during a breakup go through a traumatic period that can affect them their whole lives. Many children become unruly and seldom listen to their lone parents advice for they feel let down when one parent moves out. It is hard for children to acquire a sense of responsibility when it appears to them that their parents have none.

Many of the problems suffered by children these days come not only from the fact that either their father or mother no longer live at home, but also from the need for lone parents to work in order to make ends meet.

For A Child - Traumatic

For A Child – Traumatic

I have always believed that for children to have a proper upbringing the mother should stay at home. I have seen nothing in modern life to make me change this.  The idea that you dump your small children with a stranger in a crèche for the day while you go out to work cannot possibly have a positive influence on them. Ever been in a situation where your children do not do as you tell them, ignore you completely or argue? Well, put that down to the fact you were not at home teaching them the essentials of life when they were very young. Many young mothers today seem to think “That’s the nursery or teachers job”! Well, it isn’t! All these facts combined lead to the aimless, unruly, and often violent teenagers we have on the streets today.

If this was my child he would have received a bloody good hiding!

Let us not forget that the lack of commitment to each other and the family has led to the point where the tax payer is having to subsidize broken families in the form of benefits that is costing many billions every year and climbing. Britain has a staggering 26.7% of children living with only their mother, and 450 children from every 1,000 will experience their parents breaking up before they are 16. There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that to continue in this way will have very grave results in the future.

Roy.

Sorry! Can’t Go to War Today, I Must Feed My Baby!!!!

Posted in Britain, Children, England, Human Rights, Insanity, Modern World, Royal Navy, UK with tags , , , , , , , , on 13/04/2010 by floroy1942

Whatever happened to common sense and commitment? These are two ideals sadly lacking in today’s world, and we are worse off because of it. I read with total shock about a young female Caribbean recruit to the British Army who has successfully sued the Ministry of Defence, and will receive £100,000 in compensation for ‘missing a parade’ because she had to care for her child.

Tilern DuBique

Tilern DeBique, who signed on for the army during one its recruiting drives on the island of St. Vincent, came to England and joined the 10th Signal Regiment in 2001 as a Signals Technician, and had reached the rank of Corporal. When she missed a parade because she had to care for her child, she is a single mother, she was disciplined by her C.O. He told her, quite rightly, the Army is ‘a war fighting machine’, and not the place for a single mother who could not arrange care for her child.

Appearing before the Central London Employment Tribunal she said she feared she would be dismissed from the Army and left. She further stated that she was told she should be ‘available for duty 24 hours a day’. Despite this, arrangements were made by her commanders for her to work between 08.30 and 16.30 weekdays only, but it would appear this was not enough. In December 2006 she missed a training session and was absent on parade in January 2007 due to childcare difficulties. Because she felt she was going to be dismissed from the Army, she left, or as she put it to the tribunal, ‘She was forced out’! The Army said in its defence that she had the choice of an alternative posting which she did not accept.

Part of her case rested on the fact that the Army would not help her bring her half sister across from St. Vincent to care for the child. She was told, correctly, that that was an immigration question which could only be answered by the Immigration Department. Current immigration rules would have allowed the sister to remain in the UK for a maximum period of six months.

Ministry of Defence

The ramifications of this ruling may well be severe for the Ministry of Defence, for like most cases of this kind, it opens the door for any single mother in the Armed Forces to rake in a lot of quick money.

Is the Army now going to be forced to set up Day Care Centres behind the front line when it goes to war? The acceptance of female soldiers into the Forces has always been a contentious issue, but the prospect of single mothers needs to be looked at immediately. The simple rule should be: If you are single and get pregnant, you’re out!

There is a place for women in the Forces, and most of them are very good at what they do, but a single mother does not belong in anyone’s Army unless they can be available for duty 24 hours a day. That is one of the basic conditions when you sign on the dotted line, otherwise chaos would reign.

Who knows, maybe wars will only be fought during office hours in the future, but I doubt it.

I have served my time, and I must say that in my day (oh bugger! That makes me sound very old) people did the job they were paid for, without going to tribunals and demanding compensation because military duty hours did not fit in with their life style.

RAF Nicosia Cyprus

In 1965, during a panic when it was thought that Cyprus would be invaded by the Turks, I worked 72 hours straight with only an occasional catnap in a corner because that was what the job demanded. I didn’t complain to my boss that I had to get home to feed my baby, the baby-sitter could only stay until 21.30, or sorry, its the wrong time of the month!!

In times of war or tension, the Army, Navy, and in my case the RAF, require full commitment by it soldiers, sailors and airmen, and if you give short of your best then others will suffer, or at the very least, must carry part of your load.

Always Ready

In this crazy modern world of ‘Human Rights’, ‘Equality’, ‘Political Correctness’, ‘Sexual Discrimination’ and all that other bunkum, the basic standards by which our civilisation became great are getting lost in the cracks. It is sad to see a once proud and all conquering army brought to its knees by a stupid woman who wants it all!

There is little doubt the young lady in question has missed the golden rule of being a member of the Armed Forces; Single parenting and the Forces do not go together! If you cannot commit 100% to the job, find another! The only other alternative is to join the Dutch Armed Forces, they even have a Union and I am sure she would get some sympathy there!

Bah! Humbug!

Roy.


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