Archive for National Science and Engineering Week

Crazy? You Couldn’t Make It Up! Season 1 Episode 6

Posted in Britain, Children, England, English Schools, Human Rights, Insanity, Modern World, Primary Schools, Traffic, UK with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 29/03/2010 by floroy1942

Idiots abound everywhere, and sometimes they get in the news. The last week or so has seen yet another crop of weird stories which highlight the silliness of people and institutions.

The British Government has taken one more step down the road to stupidity with the recent Equality Act. Harriet Harmon’s Bill now decrees that it is an offence to ‘imply that women are not as strong as men’. For this reason, gym instructors have been told that if they warn a woman not to lift weights too heavy for her they can be prosecuted under the equality law because it insinuates women are not as strong as men.

Most gym instructors will give advice to both men and women during activities like weight lifting, for the simple reason they wish to prevent their clients from ‘over-doing’ it and injuring themselves. So if this will be considered sexual discrimination in the future, I wonder what will happen when someone does hurt themselves? Could it mean the complainant sues Harriet Harmon or the gym? A tricky situation for which we will have to wait an answer!!!

As a policeman, especially in the traffic department, you see some strange happenings on the roads. Officers in Weymouth in Dorset England were amazed to see a car being driven through a busy town with the bonnet (hood) fully up blocking the windscreen. When they pulled over the vehicle they found a 53 year-old woman in the driver seat who said her bonnet was faulty and she was on the way to get it fixed.

She was somewhat indignant when the officer suggested she could not see the road and told him she had been looking through the slit between the raised bonnet and the bottom of the windscreen. What a shame she is too old for the Army, she would make a fine tank driver!!!

The same Force pulled over a man using his elbows to steer his car while he rolled a cigarette and read from a clipboard he had on the wheel, and also a woman with three children on the back seat without seat belts. When asked by the officers why she did not have the children wearing seat belts she replied they were ‘not her children’. I can’t quite make up my mind if that is extremely callous, or stupid. Probably both!!!

A company called Proactol Ltd is advertising for a professional ‘couch potato’ with a salary of £23,750 per annum! Really! The job entails sitting all day long eating junk food and watching TV and video’s. The successful applicant will be required to eat Indian ‘take-away’, Macdonalds meals, pizza, fish and chips and other fatty foods for the their period of employment, plus take the company’s product Proactol. You would essentially be a lab-rat for the scientists who are developing Proactol which they hope will absorb 30% of your daily fat intake. I can imagine the applicants will be lining up around the block, and the next one!!!!

Children are without doubt one of the best sources of amusement, and a short time ago they proved it yet again. One thousand children were polled to mark the start of the National Science and Engineering Week in the UK a couple of weeks ago and were asked questions like ‘Who invented the telephone’. Many thought the Queen invented the telephone, that Charles Darwin discovered fire and Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story) was the first man on the moon.

The minds of children are amazing and it makes me wonder who they think invented the aeroplane? Probably Richard Branson!!!

Political correctness is forever in the news these days, usually for something stupid. Like the man at Gatwick Airport who was asked to remove his T shirt by a security guard because the slogan on it may be considered threatening. A compromise was reached when the man turned it inside out. The words on his T shirt; ‘Freedom or die! So the next time you buy a T shirt, take into consideration the feelings of other air passengers and do not buy one that says; Boom!!!

A survey has been carried out among local councils that are gradually changing English street names to reflect current environmental concerns and ethnic diversity. Names like Acacia Street and making way for new names like Eco Avenue, Euro Close and Sustainability Avenue. Among the ethnic diversity names now in use are Masjid Lane (Muslim for mosque), Khadija Walk (prophet Mohammeds first wife). The list goes on and on. I suppose before long streets where the majority of dwellers are ethnic English will be called ‘Infidel’ Street!!!

Another ‘Health and Safety’ cock-up was unearthed by the media at Manor School in Melksham last week when a 5 year-old boy climbed a 20ft tree during the morning break but was left there by the school staff because they would be breaking H & S rules if they helped him down! In accordance with guidelines, they retired to the school building and ‘observed him from a distance in case they distracted him and caused him to fall’. The child was rescued some 45 mins later by a woman who happened to be passing the school and saw him up the tree. The amazing thing is, when she went into the school with the child, instead of thanking her for her assistance the headmaster called the police charging her with trespassing! It would appear we have now reached the situation where the patients run the mental asylum!!!

Until next time, and remember, there are still sane people in the world, they are just harder to find!

Roy.


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