Archive for Modern Women

Oh To Be A Woman

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, Europe, Modern World, News, UK, USA with tags , , on 06/12/2014 by floroy1942

What’s the difference between men and women in marriage? This should give you an idea:

Women In Three Pictures

 

Single

 

Married

 

Divorced

 

And For The Men:

 

Single

 

Married

 

Divorced

 

Get the picture?

Roy.

Pampering To Women’s Vanity

Posted in Britain, England, Environment, Europe, Health, Insanity, Old Age Pensioner, Senior Citizen, Teens, UK, USA with tags , , , , , , , , on 29/03/2011 by floroy1942

Oops! Caught Ya!

Women, (bless their little cotton socks) are by their very nature vain creatures, and will spend hours ‘putting on their face’, or in later years, worry constantly about a wrinkle that has suddenly appeared. But hey! A whole industry has evolved to pander to their vanity and anxieties that has made a lot of people MEGA-RICH! Its called the cosmetics industry.

It matters not if you are a successful pop star or actress, its essential to create your own brand of beauty products. Why? Because that’s where the money is!

The Essential ‘Kit’ Of Todays’ Woman

Years ago shops had a small counter that had the usual lipstick, mascara and face powder, while not forgetting the essential perfumes, some of which cost a fortune. Nowadays, we see entire shops full of ‘beauty’ products that will do everything from ‘removing’ your wrinkles to ‘regenerating’ your skin and much more.

Who Could Imagine…The Humble Snail In Your Face!

The latest ‘discovery’ to hit the headlines is a new face cream that will “smooth out wrinkles and nourish the skin”. You might like to try it, except……it’s made with snail slime! I suppose there are those who will just shrug their shoulders and try it, but there could equally be those to whom the idea of smearing snail slime on the face is obnoxious. Ah well! I guess it all depends on how desperate you really are.

Its a fact that the industry is always finding new and ‘miraculous’ ingredients for their products, like snake venom, crystals extracted from semen (sperm), cocoa, coffee, Coca Cola (oh no! sorry, they haven’t discovered that one yet!). Many types of plant, from cabbage to exotic jungle vegetation contain, according to the industry, that ‘essential’ ingredient to keep our skin looking like we are forever sixteen! Yeah Right! The only reason they do it is to stay ahead of the competition, and I might add, has anyone thought about the chemicals that go into making these products? No? I thought not!

Skin Whitening? Really??

After the initial explosion of these products onto the market, the companies have become very sly. Now you don’t have one ‘moisturizer’ or anti-wrinkle cream, but a ‘day’ cream and a ‘night’ cream. So now the con has gone a step further by making it essential to buy two bottles of an almost identical product. And don’t forget, these items are not cheap!

The prices charged for beauty products nowadays has gone right off the scale, and I shudder each time my wife looks in the window of a beauty shop. We still have the old ‘small tube in a big box’ trick that is meant to dupe the customer into thinking they are getting more than they really are. That certainly hasn’t gone away, and no amount of government advertising standards legislation seems capable of stopping it.

Cellulite Cream…It Works?

We are bombarded with advertising posters of young women who have years ahead of them before they see a wrinkle, telling us we should use so-and-so cream to prevent them. The same goes for all those posters for anti-cellulite creams. All the photo’s are carefully airbrushed with a well known computer programme to erase even the tiniest blemish to enforce the message. I imagine the same is done with the ‘before and after’ photo’s concerning anti-wrinkle creams. Its all a massive sham and con-job in my opinion.

It is also interesting to note that at the bottom of the screen during product TV adverts you often see e.g. 90% of 125 women agree. I bet few have ever taken the trouble to work that one out, but for your information the answer is 112.5 women! This begs the question, how does half a woman agree with the claims made by the product? Yes! Tricky that one!

Pansy!

The sad thing is, these products are now being aimed at young men who are becoming just as vain as the women! Like their female counterparts, men are being fed an ever-increasing range of products that ‘will’, for example, hide the bags under the eyes after a night of boozing, or give you skin like a baby. Bah! Humbug! Whatever happened to old adage of growing old gracefully?

Both women, and now young men, have become so obsessed with their looks they will spend a fortune on anything they think may take six months off their age. A look in the mirror and it’s; “Oh No! I have a small wrinkle, where’s my wallet?”

Future Customer?

Future Customer?

I freely admit that some products do have a limited effect.Certain creams help women get rid of unsightly cellulite for example, but to maintain any benefits they have to continue using the product or the skin reverts to normal. I know that for it happened to my wife. When you consider that cellulite creams cost between 50 and 120 it becomes an expensive business.

Bless You Ma’am, But I Think Its Too Late

I for one do not believe the hype that you can get rid of wrinkles simply by smearing a cream on your face. They are a natural part of the aging process and are something we have to accept. No matter how good these products are supposed to be, I can never see the day coming when old age pensioners are all walking around looking like 30 somethings. Just imagine the hassle of having to prove your age before you can collect your pension, and as for getting a bus pass….!

God Bless you all Ladies we love you dearly!

Roy.

Your Anti-Wrinkle Cream May Not Be All It Appears

Posted in Britain, Modern World, UK, USA with tags , , , , , on 25/11/2009 by floroy1942

A most bizaar crime was uncovered in Peru last week. A group of criminals were killing people to extract their body fat for onward sale to the cosmetics and pharmaceutical industries. It would appear from the report that human body fat is used in the production of cosmetics and anti-wrinkle cream. Ugh! I think I’d rather have my wrinkles.

Local people were lured into the net with the promise of jobs and then summarily killed. In a makeshift lab, body tissue was removed and the body fat extracted. These items were transported by bus to Lima, the capitol, and then sent on to Italy where other gangs sold the stuff to the cosmetic and pharmaceutical industries in Europe. It would seem to be a profitable enterprise, for a litre of body fat sold for $15,000.

Police said the gang, referred to as the Pishtacos after a Peruvian legend, could be responsible for the deaths of up to sixty people in the region. According to one of those arrested, the ringleader Hilario Cardena had been committing these crimes for decades.

As crimes go, this must rank as one of the most bizarre, and is an indication of how warped the human being can be in the search for riches. If you are a person of, shall we say ”large” proportions, it would perhaps be advisable to cross Peru off your visiting list.

Rejoice in your wrinkles, for the alternative may make you an accessory.

Roy.


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