Archive for Joke

Britain Today

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, Germany, Modern World, News, UK with tags , , , , on 12/05/2017 by floroy1942

Britain is not what it used to be and the evidence is below:

Daftland

We live in a country called Daftland
The England we knew is no more
Where sensible people do ludicrous things
Or risk breaking some Daftland law.

In Daftland we’ve police dogs with muzzles
Less the villain has cause to complain
And to steal from a shop and say ‘sorry’
Means you’re free with no stain to your name.

You had better leave lights on in buildings
When you lock up and go home at night
’cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering
And there’s no way you’ll be in the right.

When speaking be wary in Daftland
As some terms that you’ve used all your life
Now have connotations unintended
And you’ll end up in all sorts of strife.

We elect politicians in Daftland
To give us the laws of the land
Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad
The whole thing has got out of hand.

The borders are open in Daftland
And of migrants there’s no keeping track
Just a few of the thousands illegally here
Will ever be caught and sent back.

The exception to this is the hero
Who fought for this land in the war
He’s old and he’s sick, he might cost us a bit
So he’s not welcome here any more.

When the history is written of Daftland
Historians may just recall
That the craziest people in Daftland
Were the public who put up with it all.

I received this by email and thought it worthy of sharing because it really hit the ‘nail on the head’.

Roy.

Donald Trump Joke!

Posted in America, Britain, British Humour, Canada, England, European Union, News, UK, United Nations with tags , , , , on 19/08/2016 by floroy1942

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour  of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells the American Diplomats accompanying him, ‘You can have  him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for  just $100.’

The American Diplomats go into a corner and discuss for a few minutes. They  come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, ‘Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him  home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?

The American Diplomats replied, ‘Long ago a man died here, was buried here,  and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can’t take the risk.’

 Roy.

A VERY Funny Joke About Brexit!

Posted in America, Australia, Britain, British Humour, Canada, David Cameron, Elections, European Union, News, Politics with tags , , , , on 02/07/2016 by floroy1942

This was sent to me by a friend, and believe me, it is so funny you won’t want to miss it. By the way, the sub-titles are not accurate if you speak Spanish.

I bet you couldn’t stop laughing could you! I know I couldn’t!

Roy.

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