Archive for Emergency Numbers

Nonsense Overdue – Call 999

Posted in America, Britain, England, Insanity, Modern World, Police, Police Complaints, UK, USA with tags , , on 29/06/2013 by floroy1942

West Yorkshire Police There have not been any funny stories in the news recently but thankfully, an article on the internet caught my eye. It’s all about the crazy reasons why some people dial 999, Britain’s emergency number. The report comes from the South Yorkshire Police, and gives some of the unbelievable reasons why people dial the emergency number. Here’s a list:

1. One strange person rang 999 to complain that his neighbour disliked him because he was jumping up and down on a trampoline wearing a dress!

2. The Police were called by one person who stated ‘her daughter was attacking her’. As the conversation progressed it turned out her child was being very naughty and would not go to bed.

3. One caller rang to complain they could not get Sky TV with her Sky TV card. She was politely informed she should contact Sky.

4. Someone complained that children who live around the corner keep coming to her house to play with her daughter, and one of them ‘pooed’ in her daughter’s playhouse. When asked why she was angry, the irate caller said the child was only three years old but should know better!

5. One man called the Police because he had two women at the door who may be from the housing department, but asked the police to attend because he did not want to talk to them as he was on ‘water tablets’.

6. One Christmas a caller complained about some youths going around singing Christmas carols. He complained because they could not sing, and he thought they were just out to get some money.

The Emergency Services

The Emergency Services

7. One caller was very distressed when he/she rang 999 because the neighbours were making love very loudly with the windows wide open.

8. A caller reported that her daughter of 12 years, had been to the woods with four friends. They had all crossed a stream on a log, but it had slipped from under her daughter and she fell into the stream. This had ruined her new trainers. She asked the boys for help to get out of the stream and they stood there and laughed. Caller states that her daughter then had to walk home with wet feet.

10. A man rang 999 to advise that he had found some driving documents that he thought he had previously lost, and wanted to let them know.

11. A man visiting Newcastle for the weekend woke up in his hotel and complained his trousers were missing.

12. One caller said, “There is a couple with a big brown dog that is running around. It has not been aggressive towards anyone but he is concerned about the size of the dog. He has spoken to the couple about the dog but they have not done anything”.

It may or may not surprise you that these are all genuine calls to the Emergency Services, and each and every caller thought the best thing to do was call the emergency number and tell the Police so they could come round and ‘fix the problem’.

America's Emergency Services

America’s Emergency Services

I have heard that the 911 service in the USA has the same problem although I do not have any information on that.  I guess I shall have to do some digging. In the meantime, I hope this has brightened your day somewhat and at least brought a smile to your face. Until the next time.

Roy.

Crazy? You Couldn’t Make It Up – Series 1 Episode 9.

Posted in Britain, England, Europe, Gays, Germany, Homosexuals, Insanity, Modern World, Old Age Pensioner, Spain, Theft, UK with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 05/12/2010 by floroy1942

Digging deep among the daily news items one often comes across bizarre happenings around the world. Take for example the German DIY enthusiast who walled himself into his own cellar. The reason for such a strange act, or miscalculation if you want to be kind, is unknown but led to the man spending the entire weekend trapped in his cellar.

Always Leave Yourself An Exit!

Apparently he had taken food and drink with him, but I guess he eventually missed his TV or trip to the local bar, so come Monday morning he broke his way through to his neighbours cellar with a power tool. Not on good terms with his neighbour it seems he started cussing and swearing at them and ended up in the local police station. It will forever remain a mystery as to why he didn’t break down the wall he had recently built instead of going through into this neighbour’s cellar and ending up in the arms of the law. I bet he’s a lousy map reader also!!!

A Spanish woman has found a novel way of making money for free. She has claimed the sun as her property in a Spanish court, and claims she wants to slap a levy on anyone who makes use of the aforesaid property. Angeles Duran laid claim to the star after reading that someone had appropriated the moon and various other planets in our star system.

Hands Off! Its Mine!

It would appear that international agreements make it impossible for countries to claim rights of ownership of celestial bodies but it says nothing about individuals. Ms. Duran is quoted as saying she now wants to slap a fee on anyone who uses the sun, the proceeds of which will be distributed between the Spanish government, Spanish old-age pensioners, feeding the starving and a 10% cut for herself. It looks like the idea of sunning yourself on a beach during the holidays is going to cost you more than the daily €5 for your sun bed!!!

Someone Loves Their Phone!

Two German undertakers in the city of Cologne have discovered a unique niche in the funeral market. They have introduced a range of coffins elaborately decorated with pictures of naked, muscular young men in athletic poses for the homosexual market. Themselves homosexual, the pair estimate to do a good trade as it is estimated that 1 in 10 people in the city are of the same ilk.

The pair also cater for the more normal among us and can provide artwork to suit all tastes. Lets just hope the homosexual side of the business does a roaring trade!!!

Delhi Subway

Due to continuing sexual harassment by men of female underground train passengers in Delhi, India, the local authorities introduced ‘Women Only’ carriages on the trains. Unfortunately, due to the volume of commuters these days, some men were recently caught riding in the women’s carriage. After being fined 250 Rupees ($5.40) they were also set about by the women who made them do sit-ups on the platform in front of all the other commuters. Let’s hope they at least got some goodness from the exercise. It would appear ‘Woman Power’ is alive and well in India!!!

Some people like to be naked, and there are those who carry it to extremes like a young Australian who got caught in Munich, Germany. A week ago he got caught running, with underwear in hand, through the main railway station by German police. On seeing them he started running but was unceremoniously brought down by a slippery floor.

Brrrrrr!

When questioned, he stated that he was running naked across Europe for a bet, and after visiting 11 others cities this was the first time he had been caught. The man is indeed very brave for he was doing this in winter and I would for one would rather do it in summer. You never know what excessive cold will do to the nether regions!!!

Its Winter and the Thieves Are Still At It.

Talking about cold, Kent police in the UK were not very pleased when a women rang the emergency 999 number to report the theft of a snowman from in front of her house. She seemed particularly upset because she had used two one pound coins for the eyes and teaspoons for the arms. Needless to say, she received a good talking to by the police for wasting their time and improper use of the emergency number. It just goes to show that some people will steal anything that is not nailed down these days!!!

One of the worst things about growing old is you forget things, but you have to feel desperately sorry for a pensioner in Westcliffe-Upon-Sea in the UK. Just one moment of forgetfulness robbed him of his life savings of £80,000. The unfortunate man had put a bag containing his savings on the roof of his car for just a moment but forgot it when he drove off.

Stolen Money Will Never Make You Happy!

The man had saved two thousand pounds a year all his working life and usually kept it under his bed while he had a guard dog. When unfortunately the dog died he decided to take the money to his place of work each day, and that decision was fatal.

Upon discovering the loss some time later, he carried out a search with his grandson but all they found was the bag that had contained the money. Asked why he kept the money at home, he told the police he did not trust banks. After the happenings of the last year, and the world recession brought about by greedy banks, who could blame him.

Needless to say, in this day and age, and people being what they are today, the money has not been handed in to local police despite the unfortunate man offering a reward. I for one hope the dishonest finders get rain every day on their Caribbean holiday!!!

Roy.

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