Crazy! You Couldn’t Make It Up – Series 1 Episode 11

Its been a while since the nonsense post appeared so now its  time for an update. Looking through our local Marbella English newspaper, I came across a few snippets that fit right in with this series of posts on crazy news reports and so I thought to share them with you.

Not To Worry - Your Local Council Has Everything Under Control

In Leicester England someone apparantly walked in to the local town hall and asked how the council’s emergency plan would deal with a ‘Zombie’ invasion. Hmmm! However, a town hall spokesman, sorry spokesperson, has assured citizens that the current emergency measures would be sufficient to cover such a situation should it occur, and that any zombies running amok through the streets would be severely dealt with. I guess the people of Leicester can at least sleep soundly in their beds, knowing that should any ‘undead’ ever attack the city, the council has the whole situation in hand. Nice to know!

Ever Get The Feeling Its Too Late?

On the Isle of Lewis in Scotland a businessman tore up a handful of £20 notes and flushed them down the toilet thinking they were forgeries. He later found out they were real and you can only imagine what must have gone through his mind. Scots are well known for being, shall I say, thrifty, and for one to lose a lot of money in this way must have brought him close to suicide. Ah well! It’s only money – Boo Hoo!

Just Don't Take My Ear Off!

A London barber has set a new record for the number of haircuts in twentyfour hours. He managed to crop a total of 526 clients within the period, which averages out at one every three minutes. Speed is one thing, but I hope his competance matched his speed for I don’t think I would have wanted to be in the last fifty – “Ouch! You Bugger. That’s my ear!!”

Where Did You Get Your Licence?

You wouldn’t believe it unless you heard it here first of course, but a Bavarian (German) woman was picked up by police. She was driving on a Hungarian driving licence which she obtained using a fake Filipino licence. She has never had a driving test in her life, but the crazy thing is, the police can do nothing about it because of a loophole in the law. She escaped prosecution and was allowed to go her merry way. “Drive carefully ye hear, and ya’ll have a nice day!”

Its All Tax!

Without a doubt, the Danes are a strange race. The people of Denmark are among the highest taxed in the EU and it shows. Their social services and other state run services are among the best on the continent. What is strange however, is that a huge 64% of them are against lowering the taxes after the election due to take place later this year. I have to admit I have never heard that before in my life, and it is unusual because life in Denmark is very expensive. Ah Well! So long as everyone is happy and I am sure the future government will be glad to hear no-one will be going on strike against high taxes!

Come On Dad! Bring It On! I'll Smash Yer Face In!

In Malaga, which is just up the road aways from us, the Public Prosecutor has informed everyone that incidences of parents being beaten up by their small children is on the rise. He said that the number of minors attacking their parents had risen to 214 in the year ending last December. Policeman: “Yes Sir. What can I do for you? – My My! How did you get all those bruises on your face, and who broke your arm?” Father: “You think this is bad, you should see my wife”. Policeman: OK Sir! Who did this to you and your wife? Father: “It was our son”. Policeman: “OK! Name?” Father: “Jose” Policeman: “And how old is your son?” Father: “Three!”!!!!

You Have To Respect Them - They Carry Guns!

One the hardest things to imagine is a stressed out Spanish policeman, but in Alhaurin de la Torre, a moutain town near Torremolinos, almost half the local force is currently off work due to stress. From what I see of Spanish police they seem the most laid back I have ever seen anywhere. They never appear to do very much except cruise around in their cars or on their motorcycles. Driving around you see the most ridiculous behaviour from some drivers, but the police seem content to ignore it all. So I can’t for the life of me imagine what they have to get stressed about. Maybe its the wife? Grrrr!

Whichever way you look at it, its a crazy world! Until next time.
Roy.

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